Posts Tagged ‘Horoscope’
TNF Horoscopes romance edition!
Here’s some nifty tricks and tips to find the person of your dreams! Horoscopes from Tampa Bay’s 14th best astrologer Chris Coon! Aries: Keep considering yourself hot enough to be desired. Your self-image and confidence have a tangible effect on other people’s perception of you, and tastes vary wider than you might think. Also your…
Read MoreHoroscopes from Tampa’s only gender-fluid astrologist
Aries Mercury is in retrograde for you this month. Not the planet. The Roman god of commerce, transit, messages, and the immortal guide to the afterlife. He will personally cause you to backslide deeper into your creepy fanfic addiction. But Mercury will also give you the gift of prophecy. You’ll think, “Oh gosh I bet…
Read MoreHoroscopes from the worst astrologist on earth: Chris Coon – Week of December 5, 2021
Aries The big highlight of your month: 5 total hugs. Taurus You’ll kiss a boy for the first time this month. F****t. Gemini You’ll manage to pull so much of a blog or podcast out of the next job that will fire you. Cancer Vampires are real. They told me about you. You specifically. I…
Read MoreAugust 2019 Horoscope
You can look to the stars for guidance, but make sure there isn’t any oncoming traffic you are about to walk into. Leo Hey you! Yeah you. Just shut up already. You talk entirely too much. Virgo You are very virtuous. Virtuous is boring. Go crazy. Let your inner floozy shine! Libra Much the opposite…
Read MoreHoroscope for the rest of July 2019
The stars took a vacation for two weeks, but they are back and ready to add that extra spice to your life! REMEMBER: Mercury is in retrograde so take care of yourselves, folks! Leo Entering into the season of you, remember to live life without limits! The world is your toilet bowl. Virgo Sometimes what…
Read MoreTNF Horoscope: First Week of July
Horoscope for June 30 to July 6, 2019 Are the stars quietly whispering your future, or are they violently yelling about your past? Cancer This is the week you will finally try crystal meth. Leo Don’t let anyone tell you seltzer is a subpar beverage. Virgo You are overflowing with joy and new ideas. You…
Read MoreTNF Horoscope: Last week of June
Horoscope for June 23 to June 30, 2019 Ever stare up at the night sky and wonder what the stars are trying to tell you? Well we have a round up for what you can expect this week: Cancer It’s your season baby! The stars are aligning for you to party like it’s 1999 or…
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