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Tampa Zoo to deploy controversial new advertising slogan: “What exactly do you think happens to the animals if you stop coming here?”

ZooTampa

ZooTampa At Lowry Park, Tampa Bay’s local zoo, has stirred up recent controversy with is recent campaign: “What exactly do you think happens to the animals if you stop coming here?”. Critics claim the slogan elicits fear on behalf of the animals. Here’s what Tampa Bay zoo visitors have to say: One local visitor to…

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Hurricane Tips for New Tampa Residents

Tampa Bay has experienced record growth in both population and cost of living this year. In light of that, here are some wonderful tips for the newcomers and carpetbaggers occupying Free Tampa. Do Not Evacuate. If you do evacuate, Hurricane Santa won’t bring you any guns. It’s just wind. Take a brisk stroll outside, or…

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To celebrate Labor Day, Tampa News Force decides to pay its staff!

tnf money

For just one special day in honor of our nations great labor history and to reward our wonderful writers for their brilliant work, multi-millionaire TV star John Jacobs, and newspaper mogul Clark Brooks have decided to hurl handfuls of loose coins from the luxurious executive balcony where editors reside down toward the alley where TNF…

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The perks of live-aboard in SW FL!

Boating and stuff

With rent sky-high, more Tampa Bay residents than ever are looking to live landlord-free aboard an anchored sailboat. You can find many fixer-upper functioning sailboats for only a few thousand or even a few hundred dollars on craigslist. Tampa News Force’s most trustworthy local News-Talker Chris Coon opens up on his experience living aboard a…

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TNF Horoscopes romance edition!

Horoscope

Here’s some nifty tricks and tips to find the person of your dreams! Horoscopes from Tampa Bay’s 14th best astrologer Chris Coon! Aries: Keep considering yourself hot enough to be desired. Your self-image and confidence have a tangible effect on other people’s perception of you, and tastes vary wider than you might think. Also your…

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Horoscopes from Tampa’s only gender-fluid astrologist

Horoscope

Aries Mercury is in retrograde for you this month. Not the planet. The Roman god of commerce, transit, messages, and the immortal guide to the afterlife. He will personally cause you to backslide deeper into your creepy fanfic addiction. But Mercury will also give you the gift of prophecy. You’ll think, “Oh gosh I bet…

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Mayor of St Petersburg announces special military operation in Odessa, Fl.

St Petersburg’s mayor, Kenneth T Welch said the following a brief statement to the press: “Нам не чуждо любить Ты знаешь правила, как и я В полном объем о чём я думаю Ты не получишь это от другого парня Я просто хочу рассказать тебе, что я чувствую Я чувствую, что должен дать тебе понять” and…

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