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School resource officer shoots kid reading gay book

Gay Book

A second grader is in critical condition today after being shot by his school resource officer while reading Lesléa Newman’s 1989 classic picture book ‘Heather Has Two Mommies’. “I was patrolling the library and saw the gay book,” said officer Frank Johnnie. “At first I was just trying to shoot the book, but the kid…

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Family pet foils school shooting

Pet dachshund

Plans for a public school mass shooting were thwarted by a plucky pooch in Palma Ceia! A young man whose name is being withheld by authorities due to him being a minor who never actually carried out a crime but is named Calvin Mooshtock was in the middle of broadcasting a threatening message about what…

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Manufacturer recalls faulty emergency call boxes

Call Box

Emergico Systems Inc., a Tampa-based company that manufactures emergency response equipment has announced that they are recalling their new line of TeleTek6000® emergency call boxes following a recent failed beta-testing trial of the units at a school in a small town somewhere in Texas. “The way they were supposed to work is, in the event…

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Governor Ron DeSantis Signs Bill Banning Tasers in School

Florida Bans Tasers in Schools

Florida Governor’s Mansion – Leon County – Friday, 5.10.2019 Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signed a bill today banning teachers from carrying tasers in public schools.  After signing a bill allowing teachers to carry a gun if they pass a course, the Florida government decided to ban teachers from carrying a taser. “What if a child…

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