Posts Tagged ‘School Guns’
Black Drag Queen commits school shooting
This just in: apparently a transgender person who identifies as a “Drag Queen” of African American descent has shot up a public school, using some sort of gun device. No word yet on which school or what casualties there might be or if the person of interest has been apprehended. We will post updates on…
Read MoreSchool resource officer shoots kid reading gay book
A second grader is in critical condition today after being shot by his school resource officer while reading Lesléa Newman’s 1989 classic picture book ‘Heather Has Two Mommies’. “I was patrolling the library and saw the gay book,” said officer Frank Johnnie. “At first I was just trying to shoot the book, but the kid…
Read MoreFamily pet foils school shooting
Plans for a public school mass shooting were thwarted by a plucky pooch in Palma Ceia! A young man whose name is being withheld by authorities due to him being a minor who never actually carried out a crime but is named Calvin Mooshtock was in the middle of broadcasting a threatening message about what…
Read MoreManufacturer recalls faulty emergency call boxes
Emergico Systems Inc., a Tampa-based company that manufactures emergency response equipment has announced that they are recalling their new line of TeleTek6000® emergency call boxes following a recent failed beta-testing trial of the units at a school in a small town somewhere in Texas. “The way they were supposed to work is, in the event…
Read MoreTampa officials say solution to school shootings is use of official Cuban bread
Officials in Tampa are citing the use of official Cuban bread from La Segunda Bakery in Ybor as the solution to school shootings. “Of the 93 school shootings in 2021, no school shootings occurred in the greater Tampa Bay Area,” said Tampa Mayor, Jane Castor, in a press conference on Saturday. “We believe this is…
Read MoreGovernor Ron DeSantis Signs Bill Banning Tasers in School
Florida Governor’s Mansion – Leon County – Friday, 5.10.2019 Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signed a bill today banning teachers from carrying tasers in public schools. After signing a bill allowing teachers to carry a gun if they pass a course, the Florida government decided to ban teachers from carrying a taser. “What if a child…
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