Posts by Michael Fritz
Smaller Midtown to open inside of Midtown
Do you love this micro-concept?
Read MoreCancer is acquitted in O.J. Simpson murder trial
Do you believe justice has been served?
Read MoreCardi B now most successful of the US Government’s Cardi droids
As many of you know, the US government began experimenting with the CARDI Program in the late 1980s, CARDI being short for Computerized Ass Revolving Dance Intelligence. While the original CARDI droid, Cardi A, was released in 1989 and received some success in in dancehall and Cardi C (1995) had a few memorable hits in…
Read MoreRaccoon behind local Planned Parenthood starves to death
Following Roe v. Wade‘s overturn, women all around the country “literally can’t even” get an abortion. Well this affects women everywhere and men who are allergic to latex, it seems to be affecting others as well. “He seems so jovial, so full of life,” says Oldsmar Planned Parenthood director, Lisa Cummings. “We showed up today…
Read MoreFollowing Roe v. Wade overturn, Town ‘n’ Country to make abortion mandatory
In a shocking first, Town ‘n’ Country has become the first area in the US to make abortion mandatory for all women who become pregnant within the census designated place (CDP). “I mean, come on,” said Jane Castor, mayor of the Tampa. While Roe v Wade gave women the RIGHT to an abortion, no federal…
Read MoreFlorida now most expensive state to get a happy ending
With the rise of rent here in Florida, the everyday worker’s has gone up as well. While this has hit every industry from food service to pharmacists, the biggest drain on our wallets has to be happy endings after a massage. The cost of a happy ending used to be somewhere around $80 here in…
Read MoreTampa Bay Lightning changes their name to Tampa Bay Pikachus
In a shocking first this week, the now former Tampa Bay Lightning have become the first major US sports team to change their mascot to a Pokémon. With abstract and fantasy based mascots like the Dragons, the Heat, and Jazz, this natural progression in branding seems almost inevitable. “As long as it still relates to…
Read MoreTampa officials say solution to school shootings is use of official Cuban bread
Officials in Tampa are citing the use of official Cuban bread from La Segunda Bakery in Ybor as the solution to school shootings. “Of the 93 school shootings in 2021, no school shootings occurred in the greater Tampa Bay Area,” said Tampa Mayor, Jane Castor, in a press conference on Saturday. “We believe this is…
Read MoreFive health tips that your cat DOES NOT want you to know about
1. Excercise Exercise is one of those things that requires the human (you) to leave the house. Cats don’t like that. But what you don’t know about exercise is that it can actually help you lose weight, and maybe even gain some muscles along the way. 2. Cucumbers are good for you Despite looking like…
Read MoreTampa Bay lesbians refusing dick following Roe v Wade verdict
For lesbians here in the Tampa Bay area, they have now started refusing sex with men following Roe v. Wade’s overturn. In the past, lesbians all over the Bay Area have been drawn to penal insertion. Due to abortion rights being struck down, the pene in vagine deal seems less and less attractive to lesbians…
Read More