Ratlantis Grand Opening Tomorrow

Tampa’s newest attraction, a massive rat colony called Ratlantis, will open to the public tomorrow morning at 10am.

Located near the intersection of Florida and Hillsborough Avenues in Seminole Heights, the development, which is highlighted by a massive, pyramid-shaped, dome structure and an intricate network of tunnels, has been undergoing construction for months. 

During that time, complaints from people in the community made to the City of Tampa, Hillsborough County Animal Control and the Florida Department of Transportation went unanswered, as each of the public agencies entrusted with the well-being of the public responded by placing responsibility and blame with the other two organizations. 

Meanwhile, the rats successfully went through all of the steps of an extensive permitting process and are now legally allowed to operate as a theme park.

“All their paperwork is in order,” said a clerk with the state office. “We wish them a successful grand opening.”

“We’re conveniently located close to I-275, there’s a bus stop right there, we got hotels and there are several excellent restaurants nearby,” said one of the rats. “It’s nice. You should definitely come check it out.”

The rat says the attraction will be open 24 hours a day, year-round and the price of admission for all ages is only $12.50 or some food scraps. He would not, however, detail any specific details about what kind of entertainment experience will be offered once inside.

“That’s for you to find out,” he said. “Go on, get in there and look around. I promise you, it’s rat-tacular! It’s rat-tastic! It’s infested… with fun!”

“And rats.”