Posts by Josh Santos
QUIZ: Should I wear a diaper?
Tampa was recently voted one of the best places to wear a diaper, take our quiz today and find out if you should be wearing one in public?
Read MoreCrypto Sex Parlor Opens in Tampa
A new nightlife hotspot in Downtown Tampa is promising guests their wildest fantasies in exchange for cryptocurrency. “I bought DOGECOIN when it was worth less than a penny,” said 19-year-old Garret “SwiftTips” DeLuce while inspecting his fingernails. “Let’s just say I’m a millionaire now.” He then rubbed his Doritos Locos dust encrusted fingers on the…
Read MoreTampa Mayor Jane Castor Revealed as Secret Buyer of the Legendary Wu-Tang Album
During a press conference today, Tampa Mayor Jane Castor accidentally let it slip that she purchased the legendary single copy of Wu-Tang Clans “The Wu – Once Upon a Time in Shaolin” that was previously owned by pharma bro Martin Shkreli. “I didn’t want to let it slip like that,” said Mayor Castor who was…
Read MoreQUIZ: Where should I eat in Tampa Bay?
Are you hungry and can’t decide on where to eat in Tampa Bay? Take our quiz today and let us recommend some fine establishments in Tampa.
Read MoreBest Things to Do on Nebraska Avenue Tampa
5. Drive The world-famous Nebraska Avenue runs North and South from Lutz to Downtown Tampa, ending abruptly just outside of Channelside. Much of the road is a single lane each way, accompanied by a barrier-free bike lane, occasional bus stops, and merge lanes that can be used to overtake the competition. Once drivers cross Hillsborough…
Read MoreRacist Tampa Man Accidently Celebrates Juneteenth
When Ronald Fordskin heard about the newest federal holiday, he was ecstatic and immediately began planning a BBQ celebration. “This is America, these colors don’t run,” said Fordskin while pointing to his flag. “It’s Saturday, weather is perfect, beautiful day to celebrate Juneteenth.” Fordskin then went to flip a burger when I started explaining the…
Read MoreWuhan Lab Discovered in Tampa
A group of high school kids wandering around an abandoned building in Hillsborough County accidentally stumbled upon what experts believe is the Wuhan lab where Covid-19 originated from. “All the windows were broken and there was a lot of trash everywhere,” said Miguel Mercedes, a junior at Strawberry Crest High School in Plant City. “After…
Read MoreLightning Player Scores During White Power Play
A Tampa Bay Lightning player was recently out at a White Supremacist production of Midsummers Nights Dream and he was happy to report that he got laid. “Yeah I’m not racist, but she was down to fuck,” said lightning goalie Anders Nilsson. “I hope you don’t actually publish this story, the headline is really bad…
Read MorePasco-Hernando State College Wins Florida Budget Lottery
During an event today, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis unveiled his $100 billion budget for Florida’s 2021-2022 session. As part of the budget, DeSantis made it clear that it will not provide Hillsborough County with 0.000033% of the budget to fund workforce development, public school summer bridge programming, music education for children, safer crosswalks at public…
Read MoreRon DeSantis Tells Faggots to Suck It Up
Continuing his promise to make life impossible for gays in Florida, Ron DeSantis today announced that along with defunding the mental health care for Pulse nightclub shooting survivors, he will personally call each and every one of them to tell them to suck it up. “I get it, you faggots had a bad night a…
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