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Tampa dog approves of Christmas

Christmas Dog

Piccolo, a Corgi who lives near Oldsmar, has decided that Christmas is pretty good. “I can’t speak for all dogs, but I think it’s nice”, he said. “I know some dogs hate wearing the goofy outfits and that there is a lot of noise and commotion, which can cause anxiety. I get that and I…

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St. Pete man holds vigil for missing breakfast sandwiches

WaWa

Darren McVork of St. Petersburg is currently holding a candlelight vigil at the WaWa on 4th Street North for all the departed breakfast Sizzli Breakfast Sandwiches at that particular location. “I walked in and saw that they were all gone. How? How could this happen?!?”, he said. “In this day and age, it shouldn’t be…

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Britney Spears just wanted to visit Winter the Dolphin

Britney

Finally freed from the constraints of a conservatorship that restricted her access to her finances and even basic life decisions, among the first things pop star Britney Spears had planned on doing was visiting Clearwater to visit Winter the Dolphin. “The ‘Dolphin Tale’ movies were among the few I was ever allowed to watch,” said…

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St. Pete woman disqualified from Fun Run

Fun Runner

Dorothy Sterns, a sweet 97-year-old great-great grandmother from St. Petersburg was disqualified mid-race from the Annual Gobble Gobble Autumnal Wobble Fun Run sponsored by Boost Mobile earlier this morning. A race official who declined to give his name, which is Bill Wergersworth as indicated by the name tag he was wearing stated that Ms. Sterns…

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Rick Scott issues statement regarding son’s tragic concert

Senator Scott has finally broke his silence on his son’s tragic Afroworld concert which took place in Houston two weeks ago. “Yes, he’s a rowdy boy,” Scott said shaking his head and looking down. “But he’s a good boy!” Scott shook his finger highly while raising his tone sternly. “Sure people died, and people think…

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Discrimination alleged in wrongful termination suit brought against Tampa News Force

SSSnake

An editor who was recently relieved of duties with Tampa News Force (TNF) is bringing a lawsuit against the organization, alleging they were terminated due to discriminatory practices. “That is patently false,” said Gunther Feindselige-Umgebung, Vice President of Human Resource Operations. “This decision was made entirely due to substandard work performance, nothing more, nothing less.…

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Tampa Bay Area’s most horrifying attraction ever opens tomorrow

i-275 Terror

Tampa Bay tourist destinations have a long history of presenting spooky Halloween installations, such as Busch Gardens Howl-O-Scream and Zoo Boo at The Zoo at Lowry Park, but a new, genuinely terrifying installation is set to open tomorrow: I-275 Expansion. “We’re calling it that because like any great horror experience, it seems like something good…

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Social media blackout forces parents to talk to children

The temporary shutdown of Facebook and Instagram has caused a chain reaction resulting in parents acknowledging their children in the first meaningful in a long time claims an amateur study conducted at Tampa News Force headquarters. “We began calling home because we weren’t connecting to either of those websites from our offices” said John Jacobs,…

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Arrest warrant issued for Door Dash ad announcer

DoorDash

A joint arrest warrant has been issued by multiple Tampa Bay law enforcement agencies for the apprehension of the woman who does the DoorDash ads heard on various local radio stations several times a day, frustrating commuters. “We are seeking the public’s assistance in bringing this menace to justice”, said Pinellas County Sheriff Bob Gaultieri.…

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