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Internet actually 32 people with 20 million accounts each

Internet

The internet as we know it has been exposed as being consisted of no more than 32 individuals who each control 20 million accounts, to create the appearance of an enormously populated entity. “Yea, not that many people actually use the internet, it’s all us, you just don’t realize it because you’re stupid and you…

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Hubble telescope takes job as grocery bagger at Publix

Hubble at Publix

Now that NASA’s new James Webb Space Telescope is operational and transmitting spectacular, incredibly detailed infrared light images of a nearby, young, star-forming region called NGC 3324 in the Carina Nebula, the Hubble Space Telescope has been rendered basically obsolete. “Yeah, I guess they don’t need good ol’ Hub anymore,” said the Hubble with a…

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St. Pete man conducts own sleep study

Sleep Study

Herb Clamstraddler of St. Petersburg has been compiling data from a sleep study he has been conducting on himself for the last six weeks and is now prepared to share his results. “First of all, I would like to express my appreciation to the media and esteemed members of the scientific community for being here…

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Scientists worried machines are already closer to becoming self-aware than most humans

Researchers at the University of South Florida in Tampa are concerned that advances in artificial intelligence (AI) could lead to machines becoming sentient and more self-aware than most human beings in the very near future, if it hasn’t happened already. “It’s already occurring”, said Dr. Ruupi Gruvar. “Machines with human-level intelligence are on the horizon.…

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NASA launches Nazi propaganda

Nazi Rocket

Nasa launched a rocket full of Nazi propaganda this morning, sending the former German government articles into the depths of space. “Normally we would just burn or shred this kind of material, but due to climate change we can’t risk putting any more carbon fumes into our atmosphere or filling a landfill with this problematic…

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DeSantis dedicates new science facility at USF

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis visited the Tampa campus of the University of South Florida to attend the dedication ceremony for the new Dennis Nedry Science Center. “Here’s a man who dedicated his life to science, a true innovator in the fields of computer programming, cyber security and shaving cream containers, who never lost sight of…

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Wuhan Lab Discovered in Tampa

Kids find a lab

A group of high school kids wandering around an abandoned building in Hillsborough County accidentally stumbled upon what experts believe is the Wuhan lab where Covid-19 originated from.  “All the windows were broken and there was a lot of trash everywhere,” said Miguel Mercedes, a junior at Strawberry Crest High School in Plant City. “After…

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Consequences of Piney Point debacle beginning to manifest

Manazilla

Following the authorization by Florida Department of Environmental Protection officials to release roughly 215 million gallons of wastewater from the Piney Point facility in Manatee County as an emergency response to a leak in a containment pond liner back on March 31, the first negative repercussions are beginning to show up in the form of…

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