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Physicists present evidence of a TNF multiverse


Doctors Ravina Whitehurst and Sabrina Hurstwhite, research physicists at the University of South Florida, have uncovered evidence that suggests that Tampa News Force (TNF) is its own multiverse.

“It’s clear that something is happening over there,” said Dr. Whitehurst. “Something multiverse-ish,” added Dr. Hurstwhite who didn’t go to as good of a school as Dr. Whitehurst, but was hired for basically the same position at the same annual salary which is a source of considerable discord and tension between the two of them.

The multiverse is a term that scientists use to describe the idea that beyond the observable universe, other universes may exist as well. Multiverses are predicted by several scientific theories that describe different possible scenarios—from regions of space in different planes than our universe, to separate bubble universes that are constantly springing into existence.

“For the sake of this presentation, we’ll confine our focus to the three primary content producers, John, Josh and Clark,” said Dr. Whitehurst, with Dr. Hurstwhite confirming that those are the names of those individuals and that there are three of them.

“Now, the variants stemming from Josh and Clark are similar in that they comprise the entirety of space, time, matter, energy, information, and the physical laws and constants that describe them. But in Josh’s variant, Rick Scott is a decidedly dark and sinister figure whereas in Clark’s version, he’s more of an addled buffoon. And of course, in John’s timeline the articles are exercises in deception, in which the premise suggested by the headline is often abandoned within the first one or two sentences of the article itself, devolving into existential chaos and confusion,” said Dr. Whitehurst.

“Mmm-hmm,” concurred Dr. Hurstwhite, not bothering to look up from the game of sudoku she was playing on her phone.

“So in conclusion, there are two reasonable explanations. One, being the existence of a multiverse with those three entities occupying different timelines,” said Dr. Whitehurst conclusively.

“The other being that they just kind of do their own things all the time whenever they want and don’t really talk to each other about this other stuff,” offered Dr. Hurstwhite

Clark Brooks

About Clark Brooks

Senior Supreme Executive Premium Content Editor for Tampa News Force. Comedian, writer and ordained minister. Twitter: @ClarkBrooks | Instagram:@ClarkBrooks54