Longtime partners break up

Venerable adjective duo Fine and Dandy have announced plans to split in order to explore sole project options.

The two have worked together as a now-redundant colloquialism for decades, describing situations and conditions as “excellent”.

“This is a mutual decision, there’s no animosity behind it”, said Dandy. “We’re just looking at some new opportunities, that’s all. It’s all good.”

“I’ll be honest, it’s not good at all and it hasn’t been good for a long time”, said Fine. “These days, if anybody uses the phrase ‘fine and dandy’, it’s almost always with heavy sarcasm. They mean they’re not fine or dandy. They’re usually miserable and being a smartass about it.”

Most observers predict that Fine is more suited to have prospects for solo success than Dandy.

“Fine is a multi-dimensional word”, said Dr. Felix Windowlik, Professor of Vocabulary Assessment at the University of South Florida. “It still serves as a description of high quality or even just pleasant satisfaction in an unironic sense. In the modern urban parlance, it means physically attractive. Plus, it can even be a noun or a verb when you’re talking about a fee that’s assessed as a punitive measure. Fine is going to be just, well, fine. Ha ha ha!”

Dandy also feels that the future is bright.

“I don’t need Fine in order to remain culturally relevant because I can also be a noun. I’m still a great way to describe a man unduly devoted to style, neatness, and fashion in dress and appearance. That’s still a thing, right?”