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Tampa goes entire day without news

No News

For the first time in Tampa’s history, the city has gone a full day without any news. “Nothing happened today.” Said, Peck Bretters, Editor in Chief at Tampa News Daily.  “The phones were quiet, nobody walked through the door, it was just nothing.” Bretters sighed. “Well at least I get a story out of it!”…

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Mayor Castor bans golf carts for all city employees

Golf Carts

As the City of Tampa begins to search for a new chief of police in the wake of former chief Mary O’Connor’s resignation, Mayor Jane Castor is adding a stringent new guideline applying to all city employees. “No more golf carts,” she said. “No owning them, no riding in them, using them to play golf.…

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JD Power ranks Tampa Number One in human trafficking

JD Power

The city of Tampa has been officially ranked as the number one city in the world for human trafficking by JD Power. Not J.D. Power & Associates, the highly acclaimed American consumer research, data, and analytics firm, but this guy standing outside the Wawa at 1760 W. Hillsborough Avenue yesterday morning who said his name…

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City of Tampa appoints new Director of Leisure Services


The City of Tampa has appointed Theodore John Evans to head up the city’s newly created Leisure Services Department. “Tensions are elevated here in Tampa. Everyone is stressed out. We all need to relax,” said Mayor Jane Castor. “With that in mind, we’ve created a brand new agency to help us do exactly that. And…

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City of Tampa employee stressed out beyond belief

Elevator Action

Trevor Blumthard is employed by the City of Tampa as an Elevator Operations Monitor, a job with an annual salary of $39,592.60 with full medical benefits and a retirement plan and a stress level that is almost impossible to measure. “The job itself isn’t particularly difficult,” he said. “What I do is track the movement…

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City of Tampa Parking Department wants to set record straight

Downtown Tampa Parking Plan

The Parking Division of the Logistics and Asset Management Department for the City of Tampa is tired of people referring to 717 Parking, a privately held company, as a ‘mafia’ organization. “717 is not ‘the mafia’,” says Kelly Stephens, CPP, Parking Division Manager. “We’re the ones out here doing gangster shit. 717 is amateur hour,…

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Orange Traffic Cone Designated Official Bird of Tampa

Julian B. Lane Park – Hillsborough County – Monday 4.22.2019 As one of his final acts in office, Tampa mayor Bob Buckhorn has designated the orange traffic cone as the official bird of the city of Tampa.  “As we revitalize our city by building new roads, new condos and not doing anything with entire city…

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