Coronavirus Archives - Page 2 of 4

Tampa Area Devastated by Coronavirus Not Infecting Rick Scott

By Stephen Henry | April 6, 2020 |

“It’s really been a struggle for us,” said Cindy Mae Watkins, pastry chef by day and reasonable adult by night. “We keep hoping and praying for him to at least get a cough and a fever. Yet he persists. It’s as though there’s no God at all.”

Are Doctors Curing COVID-19 Patients by Turning Them Gay?

By Chingy Lopez | April 4, 2020

While investigating an unrelated news tip, Tampa News Force discovered a secret group of doctors who are attempting to cure COVID-19 patients by forcing them to perform sexual acts with people of the same gender. “While everyone has been practicing social distancing, we have found same gender unions have experienced lower COVID-19 infection rates,” said…

A nation in crisis rolls its eyes to Tampa

By Clark Brooks | April 1, 2020 |

Tampa is currently giving you the exploitation of both beautiful (should be) wild animals AND frightened people seeking spiritual comfort and somehow, both of those things are hilarious.

Tampa medical call center rewards employee bravery with jeans day all week.

By Katy Style | March 30, 2020 |

It was announced on Monday of this week that employees will be allowed to wear jeans all week long as a reward for their bravery and dedication.

People can’t wait to resume abusing service industry workers

By Clark Brooks | March 26, 2020

“No question. What these hard working people are doing is literally keeping society afloat,.. I hate it.”

Physician offers tips on how to talk to children about Covid-19

By Clark Brooks | March 25, 2020

“This is a very confusing and stressful time for everyone. Imagine experiencing at as a toddler… There are ways to help them through this.”

Local man has lost track of time

By Clark Brooks | March 24, 2020

“Time has no meaning for me. It’s been so long that I’ve just forgotten, I guess,” says Rerse, who’s been home from work since last Friday. “Is it the weekend? Is it a Wednesday? Is it Christmas?? I don’t know!”

Coronavirus challenge explodes on Tik Tok

By John Jacobs | March 20, 2020 |

“Groups of children will circle around one of their friends and all begin coughing on them at the same time until they wake up, then they pour a bowl of bat soup onto their head and chant the lyrics of that old Busta Rhymes song, but instead of ‘Woohaa,’ they shout, ‘Wuhan!’”