Posts Tagged ‘Coronavirus’
Man terrified to wear mask at DeSantis press conference
At a press conference earlier today in Nassau County where Florida Governor Ron DeSantis spoke about his ongoing plans for infrastructure improvements around the state, one man in attendance felt unsafe wearing a face mask. “I wanted to put it on, just to be careful because it was fairly crowded in there. I figured, ‘what’s…
Read MoreWuhan Lab Discovered in Tampa
A group of high school kids wandering around an abandoned building in Hillsborough County accidentally stumbled upon what experts believe is the Wuhan lab where Covid-19 originated from. “All the windows were broken and there was a lot of trash everywhere,” said Miguel Mercedes, a junior at Strawberry Crest High School in Plant City. “After…
Read MorePennsylvania Man Impressed by Ron DeSantis and his Handling of Coronavirus in Florida
“While I really do love me some Penn, as I like to call it… This past year made me realize that I want to live in a free country again.”
Read MoreGovernor DeSantis dispatches special squad of holiday helpers
“That’s right, I’m rolling out Santa Ron’s elite Helpers, the Florida Department of Law Enforcement (FDLE), or Enforcement of Law in Florida, or ELF for short”, said Governor Ron DeSantis.
Read MoreRon DeSantis sends get well wishes to Rick Scott
Following the announcement that Senator Rick Scott has tested positive for having Covid-19, Florida Governor has sent his predecessor a hand-written get well card. “It’s no secret that Rick and I have had our differences,” said DeSantis. “But President Trump is always reminding me that he’s a colleague and a good fellow Republican, so I…
Read MoreHeroic citizens work together to keep DeSantis from gloating over latest COVID numbers
“I’m not superstitious but the last thing we need is to tempt fate”
Read MoreSanta Dies from Coronavirus
Today, Santa Claus was pronounced dead while vacationing in Florida. Santa was admitted to Florida Beachside General Hospital citing breathing complaints a few days ago. Florida health officials confirmed that Santa contracted the COVID-19 virus after partying on a boat with some Trump supporters. “Santa was challenged to a number of drinking games while on…
Read MoreA letter of apology to Rick Scott
Hi Rick Scott, my name is Chingy and I work for Tampa News Force. In the past we have covered some of your major accomplishments, such as the time you won the award for Best Dick Pic, and that time you kicked a baby in the nuts, also that time that you were found eating…
Read MoreCDC releases statement: Coronavirus actually has Tampa origin
”I just want to apologize to China and to the Chinese people who have been unfairly and ruthlessly judged because we thought CODVID-19 originated from a Chinese citizen eating an infected bat. It turns out bats are completely safe to eat and we have just been being total dicks about it.” Dr. Wolfe said solemnly at a CDC press conference at Tampa General Hospital.
Read MoreCoronavirus dies from Coronavirus
“I know you’re not supposed to celebrate a death,” said Tampa resident Brenner Yuletide, “But I’ve got to say, I’m happy this mean SOB is dead!” Yuletide continued.
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