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Clearwater man dies surrounded by loved ones. And Jerry.

Jerry

Steve McAndrew of Clearwater passed away recently after a long illness, surrounded by friends and members of his family, and this guy named Jerry. “It’s tragic and I’m devastated but we’re glad he’s finally at peace”, said McAndrew’s widow Sharon. “If I had one wish, aside from it happening at all, of course, it would…

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Public stoning of psychics scheduled for today

A public stoning of all psychics, as well as all fortune tellers, mediums, clairvoyants, palm readers and soothsayers will take place later this afternoon and evening in Brooksville. “It’s not because we fear their supernatural prowess”, says event organizers Bartholomew Balthazar. “Quite the opposite, actually. We’re frustrated with their complete lack of any kind of…

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Quarantined family might actually like each other

Special report from special free-lance correspondent Stephanie Powers (not that one) special on behalf of Tampa News Force When the “Stay at Home” orders were first placed, the thought of being quarantined with her husband and two children caused 39-year-old Jennifer McKinney of Weatchase to panic. “We don’t spend much time with each other, we…

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Rick Scott ceremoniously starts go kart race

GoKart Rick

About two hours before President Trump began the 2020 Daytona 500 by issuing the customary declaration of “Gentlemen, start your engines!”, Senator Rick Scott launched a go kart race at the Grand Prix Tampa Family Fun Center in a somewhat similar fashion. “Me and the president. Same.” said the former governor of Florida. “We were…

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State Fair’s racing pigs replaced with lost children

Racing Kids

One of the Florida State Fair’s most popular attractions, the famous racing pigs, is undergoing a major change; from now on, the pigs will be replaced with children who wander off from their parents. “The racing pigs are an institution, no question”, says D’Roy Roggleton, owner and operator of the venerable attraction. “We’ve been part…

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