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Yacht snob falls overboard, delighting Gasparilla crowd

Yacht Snob

A strong gust of winter wind caused some rich douche probably named Thad or Bryce or something like that to fall off his yacht into the unseasonably cold and murky waters of Tampa Bay yesterday during the annual Gasparilla pirate celebration, to the sheer utter joy of witnesses gathered along Bayshore Blvd. to watch the…

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Quiz: What should you do for Gasparilla?

Gasparilla

After a brief hiatus due to COVID, Gasparilla is back! On Saturday, January 29th, just less than two weeks from now, a huge crowd will gather along Bayshore Boulevard as bead-throwing, rum-swigging pirates invade Tampa. Now is the time to start making your plans and the first thing you need to do is decide if…

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Gasparilla cancelled for first time not due to war or racism: pissed-off Tampa Bay citizens speak out

Gasparilla cancelled

Ye Mystic Krewe of Gasparilla announced this morning that this year’s Gasparilla parades, that had previously been postponed until April, have been cancelled. “Only a handful of times did our daring pirate invaders decide to spare the city from invasion due to unprecedented world events. This year, our pirates are making a similar decision to…

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Special Gasparilla event scheduled

Inspired by New Orleans residents who have taken to decorating their homes like parade floats since traditional annual Mardi Gras festivities aren’t taking place, the City of Tampa is creating a special event to fill the void created by the postponement of Gasparilla. “Let’s face it; Gasparilla holds a special place in so many people’s…

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Gasparilla 2 announced for March

Gaspy 2

The celebrations will include another set of parades and nightly events, with no plans on specific changes from the original Gasparilla. It will be all of the same things from the original Gasparilla, just again in March.

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Pirates angry over Gasparilla appropriation

Upset Pirate

A group of Gulf Coast pirates have officially filed a complaint with the state department over claims that Gasparilla is offensive to native pirate culture and the Tampa holiday is exploitative and appropriating their culture. “First of all, beads have nothing to do with Pirates,” said Long John Turquoise, a pirate attached to the class…

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Gasparilla Extended to Last Entire Month of February

Bayshore – Tampa – Friday, 1.25.2019 “Now we’ll see how much they really like pirates.” Says county commissioner Ben Gordon. “Citizens are constantly talking about Gasparilla and pirates and the Bucs, we figured, why not try an experiment here and give people what they want.” The Gasparilla pirate invasion will now last from Saturday, January…

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