Posts Tagged ‘Governor Ron Desantis’
Little League team forced to practice in secrecy
The Palma Ceia Little League Minor B Rangers have gone into hiding to practice for the upcoming season due to the DeSantis administration’s recent efforts to suppress Black history education initiatives. “I don’t think it necessarily qualifies as Black history,” said Rangers head coach Greg Sanders. “But I guess you really can’t be too careful…
Read MoreClearwater man anticipates huge tax break
Rodney Wyhyte of Clearwater plans to take full advantage of a new tax loophole created by Florida Governor Ron DeSantis in order to fight wokeness. ““What I have said is we have people that say under climate change, that gives them the right to regulate and control everything people do. And we reject that in…
Read MoreDeSantis Announces Teen Menstrual Blood Collection Program
In an effort to ban trans youth from playing school sports, teen girls will now be forced to personally supply Florida Governor Ron DeSantis with a vial of menstrual blood every month. “It’s the only way to make sure that no chicks with dicks are taking advantage of the sacred pastime that is school sports,”…
Read MoreFDOT closes MLK roads throughout Florida
The Florida Department of Transportation (FDOT) has closed all streets, roads, boulevards and avenues named after the honorable Dr. Martin Luther King throughout the state immediately. “To be clear, we want to make sure everyone knows this is not an edict that came down from the Governor as a stance against Critical Road Theory,” said…
Read MoreGovernor DeSantis sends National Guard to Gasparilla
This morning, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis ordered The National Guard to the Gasparilla Festival in Tampa, citing that the foreign invaders pose a national security risk. “We don’t negotiate with terrorists,” DeSantis said while ordering the National Guard to dig a moat around the Governors Mansion. Although critics of the DeSantis Administration were quick to…
Read MoreDeSantis bans February
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis announced early this morning that effective immediately the month of February is illegal throughout the state. “The month of January will now be 45 days long and will be known as Janmaxuary and March will also be 45 days and shall be referred to as MarchUltra,” the Governor declared. “All the…
Read MoreTrump too smart to fall for DeShenantisanigans
As division widens between top Republican leaders former President Donald Trump and recently re-elected Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, tensions between the two men on a personal level are rising. At a recent “We’re In This Together Breakfast & Lunch But Definitely Not Brunch Because That’s Gay” event held at the prestigious Denny’s on Dale Mabry…
Read MoreDignitaries invited to be honored at TNF 2000th Article party
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis and Florida Senator Rick Scott have been invited by Tampa News Force to appear at the TNF 2000th Article Celebration / Free Beer Estate Sale Costume Contest, this Sunday, October 30th at Café Hey in Tampa for the sake of being presented with special meritorious achievement awards. The following was sent…
Read MoreDeSantis refuses to commit to type of coffee he wants to drink
In town this afternoon for lunch at Seasons 52 at the Westshore Plaza, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis was either unwilling or unable to tell a server if he wanted regular coffee or decaf. “I greeted him and asked if he’d like to start out with a beverage, the way I do with every customer,” said…
Read MoreSchool resource officer shoots kid reading gay book
A second grader is in critical condition today after being shot by his school resource officer while reading Lesléa Newman’s 1989 classic picture book ‘Heather Has Two Mommies’. “I was patrolling the library and saw the gay book,” said officer Frank Johnnie. “At first I was just trying to shoot the book, but the kid…
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