Posts Tagged ‘Safety’
Bucs excited to try out new protective headgear
When the Tampa Bay Buccaneers kick off the 2022 season tonight in Dallas against the Cowboys, they’ll be sporting new helmets, designed by the Nintendo corporation for maximum protection against head injuries. “Nobody is as ahead of the curve in terms of protecting their characters more than the video game industry,” said Mike Rivers, Buccaneers…
Read MoreFlorida legislature takes steps to make roads more dangerous
SB 1194 allows Florida drivers to use hazard lights on roads with speed limits at or above 55 mph when the conditions create “extremely low visibility.” Seriously. Not a joke.
Read MoreBayshore Boulevard closure will disrupt pervert traffic patterns today
“Let me know the next time you see a sweaty 23-year-old in a sports bra with her ponytail pulled through the back of a pink ballcap jogging on the Crosstown”
Read MoreBusch Gardens adds new no-thrill ride
“We are pleased to unveil our latest attraction, Gorofa na Polepole!”
Read MoreAnd now, an announcement from Tampa News Force
Since every company from Target to Taco Bell is sending these out to customers, we figured we might as well do likewise.
Read MoreDunedin man severely beaten for not washing his hands
Jim Philfer of Dunedin was attacked upon exiting a public restroom by a mob of angry people because he didn’t wash his hands. Philfer, a Rob Lowe-lookin’ motherfucker, says, “I was on a date, eating dinner at Casa Tina with this hot blonde whose name escapes me, and I excused myself to visit the men’s…
Read MoreCity of Tampa prepares for March events, keeping citizen safety in mind
“We want to keep people safe for sure, but we aren’t a bunch of little fucking bitches are we?”
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