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Amber Heard Coyote Craps All Over Tampa

Amber Heard Coyote

Morning after morning, local resident Ms. Cam Ille is finding her Seminole Heights home littered like a dump, as in actual crap. The tight-nitch neighborhood is no stranger to walkers and friendly neighborhood dogs, that politely clean up their poo when the urge hits. But this hasn’t been the case lately. On repeat Ms. Ille,…

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Four injured in bro-off in Seminole Heights

Bro Off

Four women suffered minor injuries and possible long-term psychological trauma at a Seminole Heights cafe yesterday morning, when they encountered a couple of bros bro-ing all over the place at The Independent on Florida Avenue. Ominous warning signs were present early when Dave and Richie, the bros in question, both wearing aggressively backward baseball caps…

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Food critic with COVID trashes Seminole Heights eatery for bland food

Food Critic

Randy Glidwad, the restaurant critic for the completely unknown-yet-relatively popular local blog “RandEatz” was recently diagnosed with COVID-19 but that hasn’t stopped him from continuing to review local eateries, including a savage one-star takedown of a popular spot in Seminole Heights. “Every single item I tried tasted exactly the same; like nothing”, he said in…

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Seminole Heights comedy club cancelled before opening

Killer's Comedy Club

A new comedy club slated to open in the trendy Seminole Heights neighborhood of Tampa has been cancelled by outraged residents. Orlando business man Marvin Killwich who is behind the venture is bitterly disappointed. “I can’t believe it. I thought people who lived here were progressive and open-minded. I guess they’re just a bunch of…

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Independent bought by Goldman Sachs

The beloved Seminole Heights, Best of the Bay-winning establishment, Independent, has been bought by Goldman Sachs, the investment bank company. “I’m sure you’re all familiar with the movie ‘Trading Places’ and are aware that billionaires do some pretty whacky things out of boredom or other strange reasons, and in this case we got a real…

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