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Masturbation in public parks now legal for one hour per day

Curtis Hixon Park

A new addendum has certified that masturbation in public parks is now legal for one hour per day, every day of the week. After a 6-3 vote by the Tampa Parks Authority, exposing sexual organs in public for self gratification is now legal from 8-9pm every night, as long as it’s within park limits. The…

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Sex With Pregnant Women Now Illegal in Florida

No Sex With Pregos

Now that life begins at conception, sex with pregnant women will be considered sexual battery on a minor. “New and expecting parents will be required by law to sign a form stating they didn’t engage in any sexual contact after discovering the pregnancy.” Said Florida Governor Ron DeSantis during a press conference where he signed…

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Crypto Sex Parlor Opens in Tampa

Crypto Sex Parlor

A new nightlife hotspot in Downtown Tampa is promising guests their wildest fantasies in exchange for cryptocurrency. “I bought DOGECOIN when it was worth less than a penny,” said 19-year-old Garret “SwiftTips” DeLuce while inspecting his fingernails. “Let’s just say I’m a millionaire now.” He then rubbed his Doritos Locos dust encrusted fingers on the…

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TAMPA, FL – During an exclusive interview with TNF, Brad Ormond, 28, disclosed that he had sex last night. The following is a transcript of that interview. SH – “So, Brad, you said you had something you wanted to get off your chest?” BO – “Yeah bro. You know that chick I was talking to…

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Tampa freelance sex entrepreneurs feel tax increases on prophylactics

Tampa – Nebraska Avenue – Wednesday, 1.23.2019 Entrepreneurs in Tampa’s North Nebraska Avenue area are feeling the crunch from the tax increases that took effect on January 1st. As part of the referendum approved by voters in November, which also brought the sales tax rate to 8.5%, The County and City governments will be collecting…

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