Skip to content

HART Introduces New Park and Ride Bus Stops

ParkNRide

Tampa’s public transit system is getting a facelift thanks to a set of new park and ride stations. “We want to make it easier for Tampanians to ride the bus,” said Reily Huarto, HART’s Customer Relations Ambassador. “These stations will let customers crash their car right into the bus stop shelter and hop on the…

Read More

Hasbro awarded FDOT safety signage contract

Ouija traffic

The Florida Department of Transportation (FDOT) has awarded the contract to produce roadside safety signs along the state’s highways to toy manufacturer Hasbro, who plans to utilize their patented Ouija technology. “Florida drivers tend to interpret such signage in ways that suit their own, individual personal needs. Things like speed limits, road closures and which…

Read More

I-4 officially reclassified as an obscenity

I-4

I-4, the heavily travelled interstate highway that spans just over 132 miles connecting Tampa, Orlando and Daytona Beach, has been declared by the State of Florida to be an obscenity, a class four expression of profanity. Recognizing that the highway, which has always been heavily congested in certain areas on certain days of the week,…

Read More

Rogue pedestrian crosswalk sign responds to commands

Crosswalk

The newly installed pedestrian crosswalk sign at the intersection of Morgan Street and Channelside Drive in downtown Tampa actually responds when the “push to cross” button is pressed… for now. “What?!? No!! That’s impossible!” said Tampa Director of Pedestrian Foot Traffic Jonathan Chillbrain. “Those buttons are supposed to pacify people waiting to cross streets, thinking…

Read More

Downtown Tampa traffic lights to be timed at 15-minute intervals

Downtown Tampa

The City of Tampa has announced that the traffic signals at all intersections downtown will now be timed to last for 15 minutes, effective immediately. “It’s being done to reduce stress,” said Andy Blibfwitch, the city’s Director of Vehicular Traffic Patterns. “People get so worked up waiting for lights to change when they’re in a…

Read More

Highway sign mocks motorists

A digital information sign posted just south of Exit 46B (Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd.) on I-275 North in Tampa is making fun of drivers. The sign reads, “FOWLER AVE. 5 MILES 7-9 MINUTES”, indicating that it should take less than 10 minutes to traverse that stretch, which is a practical impossibility except when traveling…

Read More

World record for traveling to Tampa via I-4 set reluctantly

A man traveling from Daytona Beach to Tampa via the I-4 interstate has set the Guinness World Record for fastest time, in spite of not even wanting to go. “I just don’t like Tampa,” said Dr. Sven Lolowitz, originally from Chicago and NOT Tampa. “Sometimes I have to go there for business, though. It sucks.…

Read More