Tampa News Force owner and entertainer Taylor Swift was the only winner in last night’s Powerball drawing, with a jackpot of $1.55 billion.
“Oh, neat,” said Swift. “That’s really cool.”
“I don’t know how it happened, since I didn’t even buy a ticket,” she added, shrugging her shoulders.
The winning ticket was purchased at a convenience store in St. Petersburg by Amanda Blanda, an 18-year-old self-proclaimed Swiftie.
“I bought it and sent it to her as a gift because I just love her so much,” said Blanda. “It was one of 1313 tickets I bought and sent her because 13 is a special number in the Taylor Swift universe, and I paid for all of them with my mom’s Visa because she only let me go to one of the two shows she performed in Tampa.
“I sure hope Taylor Swift appreciates it and it was all worth it because I’ve had it with Amanda’s fixation and I’m kicking her out of the house,” said her mother Deanna Blanda.
Upon learning of this development, Swift bought Amanda a two-story, three-bedroom waterfront home in Gulfport.
“My fans are just the best,” said Swift.