Rays manager Kevin Cash ruins everyone’s life

The Los Angeles Dodgers beat the Tampa Bay Rays 3-1 in Game 6 of the 2020 World Series in Arlington, Texas, to win their first championship since 1988 and depriving the Tampa Bay region of their first sports championship since September.

All because Rays manager Kevin Cash pulled starting pitcher Blake Snell after five and a third innings with a 1-0 lead. Also because Cash didn’t drive in or score more runs, in this game or any of the games the Rays lost in the series.

“This is proof that analytics simply do not work in baseball”, says lifelong baseball expert who never managed or even played the game at any meaningful level Goober McDipshit of St. Petersburg. “I had to wait until more than halfway through what would turn out to be the last game of the year to say that because analytics is a huge reason why the Rays were able to assemble a team that had a lead halfway through what would turn out to be the last game of the year. But see? I’m right! They don’t work! Never have, never will. Except for all the times besides tonight when they did.”

It’s uncertain whether Cash, the best manager in the franchise’s history will still have a job with the Rays or be allowed to live after this utter failure-infested debacle of a season that saw Tampa Bay finish better than only a small handful of 28 other teams.