Seminole Hard Rock touts ‘Safe + Sound’ sanitation guidelines

With the Holiday Season in full swing, the operators of the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Tampa want the public to be fully aware that Tampa Bay’s only legal casino’s primary concern is the health and safety of their customers, especially with the COVID-19 pandemic still raging.

We have recently heard a spate of advertisements about this on the radio so we visited the complex, famous for modern accommodations, world-class entertainment, award-winning dining, and lively casino gaming where we met spokesperson Chip Dicer.

“Hard Rock and Seminole Gaming have made a tremendous commitment to sanitary protocols and a safety-first mentality for both guests and team members,” he said. “We’re open under new and stringent ‘Safe+Sound’ program guidelines. The guidelines include multiple new initiatives designed to create a Hard Rock entertainment experience in an environment that helps to keep guests and team members safe.”

He detailed those new and stringent guidelines as follows:

• Temperature checks for all guests and team members prior to entry. Any guest or team member with a temperature above CDC guidelines will not be allowed entry.
• Smoking is still allowed.
• A requirement that all guests wear masks or cloth face coverings that meet CDC guidelines, without exception. Masks are provided to guests, as needed.
• Smoking IS still allowed!
• Yes, that’s right; you can still smoke all your cigarettes at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino. As many as you want, 24 hours a day!
• A face covering over your nose and mouth must be worn at all times except when actively eating, drinking or smoking while seated and physically distanced. Especially while smoking.
• You don’t pay sales tax on cigarettes purchased here. Cheap!
• Thousands of alternating slot machines are turned off, to help ensure social distancing on the casino floor. All ash trays and cigarette butt disposal devices are up and fully functional, though.
• Smoking! Indoors, like God intended!
• New Plexiglas barriers divide players at table games, poker games and customer service areas but don’t block out any of that sweet, sweet cigarette smoke.
• Smoking is the coolest.
• Signs are posted throughout the complex to encourage social distancing and help ensure adherence to Safe+Sound Program guidelines.
• No ‘NO SMOKING’ signs are posted anywhere in the complex.
• More than 100 team members are part of a new “Safe+Sound Clean Team” to focus on cleaning and disinfecting surfaces throughout the complex, with special emphasis on high-touch surfaces and common areas. Those team members are not only allowed to smoke at work but are strongly encouraged to do so.
• There was this guy named Tim in high school who smoked cigarettes all the time. Guy constantly had a cigarette in his mouth. He was such a bad ass.
• Hand-sanitizing stations are available on the casino floor, at the entrances and throughout the resort. So are places to buy cigarettes.
• Tim got soooo much ass. It was ridiculous.
• Constant purification and disinfecting of the air flowing into the complex through the AtmosAir™ bipolar ionization system designed to destroy virus particles in the air and on surfaces. We’re hoping it’s more effective in performing that function than it is in removing toxins from cigarette smoke, because it doesn’t do that at all.
• Smoke-ity smoke smoke smoke!
• If the people right next to you are smoking cigarettes, you are too. So why not go ahead and light up? Don’t be a sissy.
• An overall 50 percent reduction in guest capacity throughout the resort.
• 90 percent of that 50 percent will be smoking cigarettes.
• You should definitely smoke cigarettes. Please.

At that point, an employee of the casino accompanied with two uniformed security guards showed up and ushered Mr. Dicer away. “I’m sorry, he doesn’t actually work here and doesn’t represent Seminole Gaming, Hard Rock International or the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in any capacity whatsoever. Sorry about that”, she said. “Now, can I get you some cigarettes?”