Governor DeSantis enjoying Clearwater Beach Spring Break

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis who has been busy making appearances all over the state to tout the fact that Florida is open for business, has brought that message to Clearwater Beach, where he took the opportunity to mix in some rest and relaxation.

“I think people get the wrong idea about me sometimes”, he said, addressing the media at Shephard’s Tiki Beach Bar and Grill. “Sure, I want business to flourish in Florida at all costs, including human lives. But I’m not, like, a total workaholic. Sometimes I just wanna – ugh! – just cut loose and unwind, you know?”

“We’ve all been through so much this past year. Don’t you think we all deserve a little fun?”, DeSantis continued as he took off his shoes and started dancing. “It feels like a perfect night to dress up like hipsters and make fun of the Libs. Ah-ah, ah-ah. It feels like a perfect night for breakfast at midnight at Coco’s Crush Bar and Grill, located at 317 Coronado Drive. Ah-ah, ah-ah. Yeah, we’re happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time. It’s miserable and magical, oh yeah. Tonight’s the night when we forget about the deadlines. It’s time, oh-oh.”

“I don’t know about you, but I’m not feeling over 2 million cases of COVID and more than 33 thousand deaths!”

He concluded his remarks by emitting a high-pitched squeal, taking off his top and running off to frolic in the Gulf of Mexico surf beneath a perfect sunset.