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Stoned teenager disrupts group’s paint party

Paint Party

A group of friends in South Tampa had their annual holiday gathering at Painting With A Twist interrupted by a teenager under the influence of some illicit substance. “He ruined it”, said Carol Kern, one of the group’s participants. “We look forward to this every year and this uninvited bozo just shows up and wrecks…

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Child star cancels himself ahead of record deal

Self Cancelled

Dunstin Banks, a guitar prodigy out of Riverview, Florida, has cancelled himself ahead of a major record deal he was about to receive. Banks, a 12-year-old musician who’s been a virtuoso in numerous instruments since the age of 4, had been discovered after every single one of his Tik Tok videos received over 100 million…

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Thieves pull off daring art heist in Tampa Heights

Cafe Hey Art

Café Hey, the venerable coffee and sandwich shop on Franklin Street located right on the boundary between downtown and Tampa Heights, was recently victimized by art thieves who law enforcement officials believe used an elaborate scheme to steal valuable works displayed on the establishment’s walls. “No,” said owner Chung Choi. “We’re still easing into being…

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Kennedy memorial statue shot in the head

A stray bulled grazed the head of the John F. Kennedy memorial statue in front of the University of Tampa Monday morning, authorities claimed. The statue suffered minor damage and the bullet mark should be able to get buffed out at a later date, after an official investigation has taken place. “It might have been…

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Dali museum hours extended and reduced

Dali Museum Hours both Extended and Shortened

In a surrealist move, the Dali museum has officially expanded and reduced it’s hours of operation during the week. Every odd Monday of the month will have it’s hours expanded by two hours in the morning, and every even Tuesday will have it’s hours reduced by two hours at night. However the rules will be…

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Brooksville residents line up to view Limbaugh mic

Residents of the Hernando County town named after one of America’s greatest racists began lining up to see the now-historic artifact early this morning. The queue stretched past the Florida Cracker Trading Company all the way to the Hernando Heritage Museum, which, surprisingly, is not the same thing as the Florida Cracker Trading Company.

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The Weeknd gets STD from gator bite

Super Bowl Halftime-performer The Weeknd has contracted Hepatitis B after getting bit by an alligator on the Summer Heights Golf course in Pinellas. The singer, who had decided to spend an extra week in the city after doing so well in the Super Bowl, was invited to go play golf by a man who dances…

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BUCS! booked for Ruth Eckerd Hall

Bucs Live at Ruth Eckerd

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers have signed an agreement to adapt their 2020 season into a multi-media musical theatre presentation to be performed at Ruth Eckerd Hall in Clearwater. “We’re so excited to bring the spectacular magic and pageantry of this incredible Tampa Bay Buccaneers football season to the stage”, said Bobby Rossi, CPO/Executive Vice President…

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