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Tampa news ai prototype neglect intermediate interdisciplinary reject sensible fortune weather Michael Winslow cannon ball development digestion quarter municipal French personality daredevil minuscule forward thinking tentacle portcullis swerve backward nantucket applejack sweet low five foot seven king venom surfer blood Rudy pancake min series hulk hogan planetarium heliocentric overblown globe rider next to sanford’s son who can’t gain control until it’s too late because Hartford Connecticut wasn’t drawn accurately in the viewer which caused the photosynthetic animal fluid to gestate publicly solemnly swearing to protect the truth and everything else near it on all reasonable occasions preserving what would happen if they really want it to happen given the issues at hand

What you just read were all words.

That last sentence was words too, but it was coherent. Unlike the first paragraph which didn’t make any sense.

But that first batch of words were the ones I thought of at the moment and I decided to write them. This has all been an experiment. Everything. Tampa News Force, life, every day is just another try at something. Will it be beneficial? You will know either now or later. Some results are instant, some come long down the road. Is there a point to doing anything? Should you do something? It can be argued doing something is better than not doing something, because if you have ability but don’t use it, it’s wasted potential. If you have legs you should run if you have muscles you should flex them if you have a voice you should speak. But nobody can force you to do anything it’s up to you to choose to do things.

That’s not a profound statement. I’m saying things you already know. I’m affirming basic concepts. I’m just communicating extremely simplistic ideas. And I’m conscious of that. Why am I writing this right now? Is it because I want to? I would say so.

Is it because in this moment, there’s nothing else I’d rather do more?

Not necessarily true, but to an extent, sure.

So why am I reflecting on this as I’m doing it?

I don’t know.

Because it’s interesting to me.

At least I think it’s interesting to me.

Maybe it’s not and my mind is playing a trick on me. Your brain can do that. It can tell you things completely outside of reality just to help you cope. Not in a negative sense. Just to filter existence through your personal perspective.

Why am I still writing this?

Because I like to, I think.

That has to be true, right?

Why would I keep doing something if I don’t like it?

Is it because it’s all I know, and I’ve just gotten so used to doing something that I keep doing something solely for the sake of doing it?


I don’t know.

I don’t think so.

I hope that’s not the case.

But ultimately I can’t definitely say one thing or the other.

It’s fun to push buttons on a keyboard and see words appear on the screen. That’s enjoyable. What comes of the words on the screen? Who knows.

Someone reads them. At least one person reads them. Maybe a million people read them one day. Is that the goal? Is that a goal in general? Should it be a goal? Can anything be truly determined or is everything subjective down to its’ core.

This has to be some of the worst philosophical discourse ever to exist. Or some of the best. Is it different? Is it nothing? As Jerry Seinfeld’s book title would say, “Is this something?”

There’s a very good chance we’ll never know.

Too much else is going on around us at all times to spend too much energy on something as small as this writing. 

This is the kind of writing that comes out after writing many other things.

Exhaustive writing.

Complete empty thoughts and words and sentences. 

Or is that just a deflection to try and defend my involvement in it? 

Is it bad to think too much?

They say “don’t overthink it.”

Is too much thought bad?

Should you just go?

Clearly I’m not thinking as I write this, but it feels as if I’ve thought too much.

It’s no thought, and too much thought at the same time.

Wow, quantum thought. That can’t be right or real or what this is. It just sounds cool. Anything with quantum in it sounds exciting. Ant Man Quantumania. They combined two words there.

Quantum and mania. Very cool.

Now that’s what I call cool.

Ok, I’m physically and mentally drained just from writing this nonsense now. It’s like, how far down a well can you possibly go before the void just becomes so bland and vapid that you have to turn back.

I don’t even know if I used the word “vapid” correctly in that last sentence, it’s just another cool word to see written out.

Vapid. It’s like venom. Two v-letter words, 6 letters each. Sick. Nice. Awesome. Love it. Can’t get enough of it, I want more.

Ok, I’ve had enough, this might be the most empty worthless TNF article I’ve ever written. Or is it the best?

(Shut up)

((Don’t tell me to shut up))

(((Don’t tell me anything)))

((((Look at all those parentheses))))

(((((Can we get some more?)))))


Wow that’s a lot of parentheses just back to back like that.

It looks like some sort of object or shape.

That’s cool that you can just put that in writing and it’s not words, it’s symbols, it’s like hieroglyphics. The Egyptians had it right folks, I mean, emojis? Give me a break, we’re going to be back to cave paintings soon, is this thing on? Is this a thing? Is anything, anything, or is it all nothing? Why is everything so binary. We need to start saying stuff like, “maybe it’s this or also this or also this” instead of just “This or that.” Give me more options, I like options.

But also too many options is scary.

You always see the story about absolute freedom going wrong.

That’s why they don’t want us to have too much or else we’ll ruin everything.

(There he goes again with that “they” talk. Who is “they” and why are they always wanting to control or limit us?)

Great questions! I’m going to save that for another article, maybe 100 articles from now, when I have a better grasp on writing.

Who am I kidding, the writing never gets better.

Thank God I forget these articles the second after I write them.

The only time the memory of writing them comes back is when someone reminds me of what I wrote.

And I go, “Oh yea, I remember that now! That was a good one!”

It’s like a fun prize for me, when people remind me of stuff I wrote. Because I forget the comedy of it, and it always makes me laugh every time.

I go, “oh yea, that was hilarious!” And I laugh, because it was funny, and obviously I’m going to enjoy it the most, because I wrote it, so of course I’m going to be the best audience to receive it. 

I can’t wait for someone to remind me of this one.

Please remind me of this one right after you read it!

Send me a message and say, “hey I read that really long worthless one.”

But then you’ll go on to tell me how it changed your life and made you see colors more vividly and pay attention to birds chirping and stuff.

They always say that in movies about like love and a more clear life, that you notice more details and see things with a new energy.

That was also an example of me using “they” in a non-negative way!

I guess it isn’t always bad!

I think I actually did that earlier in the article too in a neutral way.

So “they” isn’t always bad.

Just some times.

When you put some stank on it.

Like when Louis CK said “put some stank on it” referring to the word “Jew” being a slur, depending on your inflection.

Anyways, that’s enough references and thinking for this moment, I’m going to go letdown now. Time for sleep.

John Jacobs

About John Jacobs

MTV Reality TV Star and Award-Winning Tampa News Force Correspondent. Subscribe to YouTube Channel, Follow on Twitter: @MaybachDiamonds Instagram: @MaybachDiamonds