Breaking News
Rick Scott to undertake unmanned space flight mission
In an effort to find out “just what the heck is going on up there”, Senator Rick Scott has announced that he will be launching himself into outer space. “Elon Musk is trying to get into space. So is Jeff Bezos. Why? What do they think is up there and how would it benefit them?…
Read MoreRick Scott presents himself with award
Last night in a ceremony in Tampa, US Senator and former Florida Governor Rick Scott presented an achievement award to himself. “I’ve been travelling around a lot, handing out various awards to deserving recipients, and it suddenly occurred to me the other day, you know who really deserves an award?”, he said. “Me.” A gathering…
Read MoreLoud guy finally shuts the fuck up for 2 seconds
That loud guy who won’t shut the fuck up finally shutted the fuck up today in a move that’s made everyone around very happy. “Yea, you know the guy.” Said that other guy. “The one who… talks loud as fuck and won’t shut the fuck up. He finally stopped! Yes, thank God!” The other guy…
Read MoreCop pierces teens’ dick with wrong gun
A police officer who also works at Claire’s in Westshore mall accidentally pierced a teen boys penis after threatening to shoot him in the crotch. The officer who had previously commanded the boy to comply claimed he would shoot his firearm into the boys crotch if he did not obey. “I will shoot you right…
Read MoreHomophobes threaten to not use local bridges lit up for Pride
Following a decision from the office of Florida Governor Ron DeSantis to override recent Florida Department of Transportation policies to not light local bridges in honor of Gay Pride month, local homophobes are threatening to boycott the Sunshine Skyway and other spans. “First of all, I’m not a homophobe”, said Denny Knockwurst of St. Petersburg.…
Read MoreClearwater man dies surrounded by loved ones. And Jerry.
Steve McAndrew of Clearwater passed away recently after a long illness, surrounded by friends and members of his family, and this guy named Jerry. “It’s tragic and I’m devastated but we’re glad he’s finally at peace”, said McAndrew’s widow Sharon. “If I had one wish, aside from it happening at all, of course, it would…
Read MoreRon DeSantis Tells Faggots to Suck It Up
Continuing his promise to make life impossible for gays in Florida, Ron DeSantis today announced that along with defunding the mental health care for Pulse nightclub shooting survivors, he will personally call each and every one of them to tell them to suck it up. “I get it, you faggots had a bad night a…
Read MoreRick Scott observes National Donut Day
U.S. Senator and former Governor of Florida Rick Scott took time out from his busy daily agenda of pandering to his base by constantly Tweeting his disdain for President Joe Biden to pander to his base about his love for donuts on National Donut Day 2021 earlier today. As his loyal followers ignored the fact…
Read MoreTampa News Force fi-ads-co
Hey guys, John Jacobs here. We know you come to our website for only the finest premium satire content with the utmost integrity TYLER SIT IN YOUR CARSEAT WE’RE NOT GOING TO HARDEES IF YOU KEEP STANDING AND THROWING THINGS FROM THE TESLA! Sorry my voice to text is on, I’m “writing” this story as…
Read MoreDay four of voting for The Forcies: Tampa News Force’s Better Than The Best Of The Best Of The Bay Awards!
Be sure to come back each day this week to vote and share this on social media with the hashtags #Forcies and #TNFBTTBOTBOTBA
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