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Is “Rich men north of Richmond” singer, Oliver Anthony, a nepo baby?

No, he’s not. And I didn’t even look it up or verify this, I just for some reason trust everything he’s said and done so far. He’s too pure. He recorded the song in the forest with his dogs! I mean come on! It doesn’t get more real than that!

I’m also going to write another article titled, “Is Steve Aoki the best nepo baby?”

Because he’s the son of the Benihana guy, and he’s made a lot of people happy, so if you had to rank nepo babies on a scale of contributions to the world, you feel like Steve Aoki would have to be in the top 500 or so, right?

I mean I don’t know how many millions of people are nepo baby’s I’m sure there’s some sort of math that can be worked out somewhere to produce a statistic, but as far as, you know, putting out good vibes and making people dance and cheery, he’s got to be up there as one of the top producers.

Because as all nepo babies know, the bottom line is what got them where they are, so you can never stray too far away from that, even if that bottom line is related to spirituality or whatever. There’s some sort of hunt for greatness in a lot of cases. The same way there are with non-nepos. “Regs,” we call them.

“Reggy’s” AKA regular people.

Some people are inclined to try hard, others aren’t.

What was this article about again?

Oh yea, nepo babies! And if they can be valuable, just like Reggy’s.

The answer, in short, is yes.

I like saying, “in short,” it makes it feel like a smart article or something. I feel like smart people say, “in short,” you don’t hear it a lot.

Or maybe you do, I have no idea who you’re hanging out with.

Wait, this was the Oliver Anthony article right?

Yea, yea, ok. Right. So.

I’ve got nothing, I’m sorry I’m gonna go write the Steve Aoki article and maybe that will get a nice pop, or some momentum flowing. Some juice flowing.

Less smart people say that.

Smart people say, “In short.”

Less smart people say “get some juices flowing.”

But that’s also a bias I’m making up. That might not be true at all, that’s just what I’ve been programmed to believe, whether it was conscious or unconscious. Nobody’s problem but mine really. And I wouldn’t even consider it a problem.

It’s no ones “whatever” but mine.

Ugh, sometimes I just wish I was a Reggy. 

I’d say stuff like, “atta boy!” At the baseball game or something.

Maybe, “we need a pitcher, not a belly itcher.”

God I wish I could do that.

But I just can’t.

It wouldn’t be pure.

Actually, I think it would.

Because I want it so bad, and for all the right reasons.

Just like Oliver Anthony. 

But also, he doesn’t even really want anything, but to make us feel inspired.

Which is why he is considered the best nepo baby on the list of top nepo babies.

Ok, good bye now.

Bye bye.

*I wave at you from far away as the ferry takes off*

And that folks is how you end an article by doing whatever the hell that just was!

Peace out!



Or is it toodle-o?

I don’t know… anything. 

And I probably never will.

Or maybe I will.

Clearly I’m a flip-flopper.

That sounds like a slur for Florida tourists.


Gosh I’m so funny, hold on, I need to go write all this down!

Oh wait, I already am! Wow! Talk about instant manifestation!

And that is a great term I just created.

Instant manifestation.

Wow. I’m shocked that spell-check didn’t underline that phrase or anything.

It’s totally legal as far as Apple Notes spelling rules go.

Ok, for real this time goodbye.


That’s how people abbreviate “for real.”

*Seinfeld voice* 

“Does everything have to be abbreviated!”

*Seinfeld voice outro bassline plays and people clap. A couple people whistle and holler.*

John Jacobs

About John Jacobs

MTV Reality TV Star and Award-Winning Tampa News Force Correspondent. Subscribe to YouTube Channel, Follow on Twitter: @MaybachDiamonds Instagram: @MaybachDiamonds