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Ron DeSantis participates in NPC trend

Republican Presidential candidate, Ron DeSantis, has started taking taking part in the popular NPC trend on social media, where content creators pretend to be Non-playable-characters from a video game, reacting to viewers giving them digital presents.

“Mmm ice cream! Thank you!” DeSantis says, bouncily pretending to lick an invisible ice cream cone.

“Mmm ice cream! Thank you!” DeSantis says again, 4 more times, as viewers continue to give him gifts.

“Balloons! Pop, pop, pop, pop.” DeSantis says, pretending to pop balloons, struggling to smile.

DeSantis took a break to talk to me.

“I wasn’t getting many campaign donations, but now by doing this, I’m making about $6,000 a day, which is twice what I was making from the campaign backers.” DeSantis said, dripping sweat from the efforts he just put in, sponging his brow with an embroidered towel periodically.

“I kind of like this more than running for President, or being a Governor.” DeSantis joked.

“… I’m joking.” DeSantis said after a long pause and prying open a smile.

“I know, funny!” I said, faux-encouragingly.

“Can I be your Vice President, if you get the nomination?” I asked the 5’4 Florida Governor.

“Yea, sure, I like your hat!” DeSantis said, giving me a thumbs up and a pat on the back.

“Thanks!” I replied happily.

It wasn’t a particularly special hat or anything, it was red corduroy, I found it at a gas station.

I thanked DeSantis and gave him a hug then left. That’s it. Short one today. I hope you appreciate that for when I give you the long ones.

You can’t complain and say, I always make you read for a long time, because I don’t.

Sometimes you have to read long. But that’s for your own good. It’s good to read long.

It expands your brain. You ever heard that?

Would your brain expand anyway?


But maybe less than it would while reading this.

I don’t know.

Some activities probably make it expand more. That sounds like something a science-person would say.

I don’t know what kind of sience-person, but one of them. There’s so many. Forensic biologist, that sounds like one.

Is that one? I don’t know.

I know both of those words are real, I’m just not sure if I put them together, they continue to be real. Or accepted. Whatever the correct terminology for the concept I’m trying to explain would be.

That’s a good thing.

Saying “whatever the correct answer is,” is the correct answer.

Someone can say, “What’s the answer the this problem?” And you can say, “The correct answer.”

Technically you’re not wrong.

Bam, that’s huge.

Use that as much as you want.

In fact I’d prefer it if you did. Use it tons.

Oh no, did this become one of the long ones?

Is it?

I don’t know.

They say size matters.

Also, they say size doesn’t matter.

“They” have said and thought everything there is to say.

Actually they haven’t.

But “they” will continue to expand the list of things they have said and thought forever.

That’s infinity.

That’s expansion.

Remember “expansion packs” for video games?

What a load of shit, right?

Just me it to me all at once.

You love it when I give it to you all at once.

John Jacobs

About John Jacobs

MTV Reality TV Star and Award-Winning Tampa News Force Correspondent. Subscribe to YouTube Channel, Follow on Twitter: @MaybachDiamonds Instagram: @MaybachDiamonds