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City of Tampa robbed while visiting City of Tampa

Tampa, Kansas

The City of Tampa, Florida, recently hosted the entire City of Tampa, Kansas, all 100 or so residents, for a tour of their namesake city, during which the residents of Tampa, Kansas, were robbed of the City of Tampa, Kansas. “They took EVERYTHING! The post office, all the houses, the Santa Fe Trail Café, the…

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Herschel Walker resumes crime-fighting career

Having lost yesterday’s Georgia US Senate runoff election against Raphael Warnock, Herschel Walker says there’s nothing to keep him from immediately returning to his ongoing effort to rid the streets of crime in MakeBelieve Land, where he is the sheriff, mayor and former Super Bowl MVP. “Well, I suppose I gotta go back to keeping…

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Pinellas Park Woman Stabs Man at ‘Murder Mystery Dinner Theater’, Claims She Was “Helping the Show”

dinner theater

Last Saturday at the Murder Mystery Dinner Theater, which is in a repurposed Toys “R” Us in Bradenton, a woman became embroiled in a heated exchange with an actor during a live performance. The apparent cause of the altercation? Undercooked mozzarella sticks. “The middle of momma’s appetizer was frozen. And I mean solid!” said Jaydlen…

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Car thief attempts to elude cops by hiding in wood chipper

Wood chipper

Clayton Plateler of Tampa has been arrested after his attempt to hide from Tampa Police Department officers in a wood chipper failed miserably. Police were called to the Mayflower Motel on North Florida Avenue where Plateler had been spotted breaking car windows and stealing radios. When officers arrived on scene, he tried to escape by…

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True Crime fans lament ending of popular local story

Crime Scene

Tampa Bay Area followers of the Gabby Petito Story are upset and disappointed with what appears to be the story’s final chapter. “Easily the worst ending since ‘Dexter‘”, said Connie Leewurst of St. Petersburg. “The villain is just… dead, I guess? Lame!” “As much time and emotion as we all invested in this saga and…

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Former celebs infest Tampa Bay Area to investigate crimes

Celebs

Following the lead of formerly-briefly-relevant “reality TV star” and currently-active attention whore Dog the Bounty Hunter, who showed up at the home of homicide suspect Brian Laundrie in North Port Saturday, a glut of B, C and D-list “celebrities” have shown up in the Tampa Bay Area in an effort to find a second shot…

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