Posts Tagged ‘High School’
USF Athletics sends shout-out to this girl I had a crush on
There must be a reason; it’s not exactly a common, everyday name, right?
Read MoreBlack Drag Queen commits school shooting
This just in: apparently a transgender person who identifies as a “Drag Queen” of African American descent has shot up a public school, using some sort of gun device. No word yet on which school or what casualties there might be or if the person of interest has been apprehended. We will post updates on…
Read MoreDeSantis Announces Teen Menstrual Blood Collection Program
In an effort to ban trans youth from playing school sports, teen girls will now be forced to personally supply Florida Governor Ron DeSantis with a vial of menstrual blood every month. “It’s the only way to make sure that no chicks with dicks are taking advantage of the sacred pastime that is school sports,”…
Read MoreOnce again, innocent youths impacted by examples set by spoiled professional athletes
Well, well, well. Here we are, once again, seeing this country’s impressionable young men emulating the behavior of their “heroes” in professional sports. This time, the victims are the Tigers of Jesuit High School in Tampa, completing a 15-0 season with a 35-29 win over Pine Forest (Pensacola) a couple of weeks ago to capture…
Read MoreTampa News Force to launch journalism program at Bishop Sycamore High School
Venerable media outlet and bastion of journalistic integrity Tampa News Force (TNF) has announced the sponsorship of a new journalism program at prestigious Bishop Sycamore High School in Columbus, Ohio. Ricky ‘Rick’ Kwotemark, TNF Director of Educational Outreach said, “It is truly an honor and a privilege to partner with a legitimate academic institution and…
Read MoreWuhan Lab Discovered in Tampa
A group of high school kids wandering around an abandoned building in Hillsborough County accidentally stumbled upon what experts believe is the Wuhan lab where Covid-19 originated from. “All the windows were broken and there was a lot of trash everywhere,” said Miguel Mercedes, a junior at Strawberry Crest High School in Plant City. “After…
Read MoreScrew You Mr. Rabiola!
Mr. Rabiola, my high school English teacher, taught me many things. But now that I’m a professional writer at a Floridian news empire, I don’t have to follow the rules. I understand that I’m typically not supposed to start sentences with a conjunction. I understand that additional clauses starting with “and” should be set off…
Read MoreHigh School Class President Not Sure He Wants To Be A Career Politician
Blake Sniffler, made-up underage person and class president at Gaither High School, is re-thinking his life long ambition of a career in politics. “It’s really all I ever wanted to do, but now, man, I just don’t know,” Sniffler says. He cites “shit getting weird” as the biggest reason he now has doubts. “When I…
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