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Conservative Aldi Supermarket to Open in Largo

CONSERVATIVE ALDI Opens in Largo Florida

A new Trump-themed Aldi supermarket is opening along US-19 in Largo, FL.   “We pretty much took Aldi’s concept and made it for Patriots only,” said supermarket founder, Chaz Rocket. “I’m also happy to announce that we will be open in time for Trumparilla baby!”  Rocket then took out a t-shirt cannon and blasted a shirt…

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Guy with no reason to even be there ruins Super Bowl party

Largo Sports Bar

Chad Didilitz of Clearwater wrecked a perfectly fine Big Game gathering at a sports bar in Largo Sunday evening. “It’s about an hour before kick-off and everybody is already bummed out because of that guy”, said Mandy Tannenbaum, a server at Guzzlenutz Drink & Sportsery, referring to Didilitz, wearing a Detroit Lions jersey, sulking by…

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Clown ruins child’s birthday party

Clownin' around with Matt Gaetz

Mark Broberg, who works as a birthday clown for-hire under the name Sparkles Sunshine, ruined the 6th birthday party of Erik Cramer of Largo by showing up as U.S. representative for Florida’s 1st congressional district Matt Gaetz. “Totally my fault. I feel terrible and I’ve already given the Cramers a full refund and an apology”,…

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Golf cart company severs some contact with The Villages

Pete’s Puttering Putt-Putts, a luxury golf cart dealership in Largo would like the general public to know that they no longer do any business whatsoever with customers who reside in The Villages. “We’d like people to know that,” says Pete Putterman, owner and CEO. “But it isn’t true. Are you kidding? That’s the source of…

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