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Florida Education Commissioner Revealed to be a Sentient Bag of Dicks

Bag O Dicks

During a recent press conference, Florida’s Education Commissioner had a wardrobe malfunction and accidentally revealed that the man we all knew as Richard Corcoran was secretly a literal bag of dicks that had gained sentience and became a politician. “Look, I know my real appearance might surprise people,” said the sentient bag of dicks. Reporters…

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Lightning’s Vasilevskiy refuses to wear mask anymore


As the Tampa Bay Lightning prepare for Game 1 of the NHL’s Stanley Cup Finals against the Dallas Stars tomorrow night, goaltender Andrei Vasilevskiy has declared that he will no longer wear his protective goalie mask. “It’s a violation of my freedom, I think, and then also I just don’t think they work,” he says.…

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St. Pete men change minds on controversial issue after argument

Dan Widworth of St. Petersburg has changed his opinion on an extremely divisive social issue following an intense argument with Rob Birdley, a man he met at a local restaurant Friday afternoon. “I was minding my business, eating a cheeseburger at El Cap when I heard this guy running his big, dumb mouth,” says Widworth.…

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Local comic proud of his 15 minutes of super original new COVID material

Alas! After performing the same 10 minutes for the last 7 years, Tampa Bay open mic-er Walter Wingman finally found some new inspiration. While many have found Corona Virus to be an utter travesty, Wingman feels differently. “I’ve literally never felt so creative in my entire life,” he says.  Wingman chuckles as he explains that,…

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Alt right website calling masks “covid condoms” is trending a self-deemed alt-right website has gotten the phrase “Covid condoms” to trend globally after constantly referring to medical masks with the phrase. Over 5 billion posts on social media platforms have been posted using the term “Covid condoms” and the CDC does not like it. “It’s extremely counterproductive and is sending the wrong message…

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Florida Police Announce ‘Guns for Mask’ Program

Florida Police Announce Guns For Masks Program

In an effort to supply more citizens in Florida with the N95 mask, the Brandon, Florida, police department has set-up a ‘Guns for Mask’ exchange to encourage gun owners to turn in their guns for a 10-pack of masks. “The hell I’m giving up my guns for something my wife can crochet together,” said fellow…

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