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Details Emerging from Unreleased Gaetz Report

It's a party with the USAG!

Following the House Ethics Committee’s decision to not release its report on the conduct of former Florida congressman and former candidate for U.S. Attorney General Matt Gaetz, disturbing details are still coming to light about specific allegations. Among the claims being made by witnesses who testified to the committee is that Gaetz inquired in text…

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Minecraft cosplayer mistaken for Matt Gaetz

Gaetzcraft

Jeff Coldblum of Bradenton was in Tampa to attend Tampa Bay Comic Con held at the Tampa Convention Center this past weekend where he was greeted with hostility due to people mistaking him for U.S. representative and probable human trafficker Matt Gaetz. “They were so mean,” said Coldblum. “All these people getting in my face…

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Matt Gaetz sets up kissing booth at summer camp

Kissing Booth

“It was a joke!” Gaetz said during his morning press conference. “I was just being funny, I made a sign that said ‘kissing booth’ because it’s funny, and yes, I sat near the girls dorm and I proceeded to kiss girls for a few hours, but it was a goof!” Gaetz huffed. “Seriously, I don’t…

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Monument to Florida’s greatest public servants proposed for Tampa

Mount Douchemore

A new monument that will honor some of Florida’s most renowned elected officials has been planned for a mountain in Tampa. Renowned sculptor Stoney Facewall says he will carve larger-than-life facial images of Rick Scott, Ron DeSantis, Matt Gaetz and Marco Rubio into the side of one of Tampa’s mountains, making the sculpture visible for…

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Creepy youth pastor lurking around Ybor confused with Matt Gaetz

This is not Matt Gaetz

A pastor for a new youth ministry cult east of Tampa has been spotted walking around Ybor City, and many people have mistakenly assumed he is Matt Gaetz, the U.S. representative for Florida’s 1st congressional district. “Matt Gaetz? Ha ha, no that’s not me. I’m Pastor Keith and I just want to hip the kids…

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Clown ruins child’s birthday party

Clownin' around with Matt Gaetz

Mark Broberg, who works as a birthday clown for-hire under the name Sparkles Sunshine, ruined the 6th birthday party of Erik Cramer of Largo by showing up as U.S. representative for Florida’s 1st congressional district Matt Gaetz. “Totally my fault. I feel terrible and I’ve already given the Cramers a full refund and an apology”,…

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