Posts Tagged ‘school shootings’
St. Pete man can’t believe it’s been 10 years since thing that he believes never happened, happened
Clelbert Whiggins of St. Petersburg can’t believe an entire decade has passed since an incident he refuses to acknowledge ever took place, totally took place. “Wow, 10 whole years! Really? It seems like only yesterday that crisis actors, the Jews who own the media and the government all conspired to attempt a huge hoax designed…
Read MoreSchool resource officer shoots kid reading gay book
A second grader is in critical condition today after being shot by his school resource officer while reading Lesléa Newman’s 1989 classic picture book ‘Heather Has Two Mommies’. “I was patrolling the library and saw the gay book,” said officer Frank Johnnie. “At first I was just trying to shoot the book, but the kid…
Read MoreFamily pet foils school shooting
Plans for a public school mass shooting were thwarted by a plucky pooch in Palma Ceia! A young man whose name is being withheld by authorities due to him being a minor who never actually carried out a crime but is named Calvin Mooshtock was in the middle of broadcasting a threatening message about what…
Read MoreManufacturer recalls faulty emergency call boxes
Emergico Systems Inc., a Tampa-based company that manufactures emergency response equipment has announced that they are recalling their new line of TeleTek6000® emergency call boxes following a recent failed beta-testing trial of the units at a school in a small town somewhere in Texas. “The way they were supposed to work is, in the event…
Read MoreTampa officials say solution to school shootings is use of official Cuban bread
Officials in Tampa are citing the use of official Cuban bread from La Segunda Bakery in Ybor as the solution to school shootings. “Of the 93 school shootings in 2021, no school shootings occurred in the greater Tampa Bay Area,” said Tampa Mayor, Jane Castor, in a press conference on Saturday. “We believe this is…
Read MoreCasinos start betting on school shootings
Casinos across the country have started accepting wagers on when and where school shootings will take place. Depending on how close to the time and location your bet is, will determine your payout. “For example, you could place a bet on something as general as January in Minnesota.” Said Jackie King, manager at Black Jackies…
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