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Both St. Pete mayoral candidates are huge cowards

Ken Welch and Robert Blackmon are the final two candidates for the November 2nd general election that will eventually seat the next mayor of St. Petersburg, and while they may have different ideas about how best to fulfill that obligation, they both share the distinction of being huge cowards. Three weeks ago, Tampa News Force…

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St. Pete man’s dying words express regret for getting vaccinated

Dumb Old Bastard

Eddie Mulmswood of St. Petersburg passed away yesterday and used his last words to say that more than anything else, he wished he’d never gotten vaccinated against COVID. “You would have thought his greatest regret was getting drunk and walking into traffic on a Thursday afternoon”, said his son-in-law Jerry Oyler. “I mean, since he…

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St. Pete man disappointed with Tinder date

Tinder disappointment

Gregg Glizistky of St. Petersburg feels like he’s been deceived by a woman he matched with on the popular dating app, Tinder. “All these profiles are basically the same”, he said. “They say, ‘Hi, I like to go out to eat, enjoy live music, working out, watching sports and leisure activities and dogs and art.…

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Protestors seek to cancel Grand Prix

Grand Prix of St. Petersburg

A group of protestors attempted to disrupt Indy Pro 2000 qualifying at the Firestone Grand Prix of St. Petersburg this morning in an attempt to get the event cancelled. “We’re huge fans of Indy racing itself but the name of the race is highly offensive”, said Thad Talbert of St. Pete. “We just want to…

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