Posts Tagged ‘st. petersburg’
Mass shootings should end now that St. Pete woman is sick of them
Following a mass shooting at an Independence Day parade in Highland Park, Illinois yesterday, Sandy Sterns of St. Petersburg has declared that she is completely over it. “This stuff happens all the time. It’s ridiculous”, she said. “And yesterday was a holiday; we all had the day off and were supposed to celebrate America and…
Read MoreSt. Pete man conducts own sleep study
Herb Clamstraddler of St. Petersburg has been compiling data from a sleep study he has been conducting on himself for the last six weeks and is now prepared to share his results. “First of all, I would like to express my appreciation to the media and esteemed members of the scientific community for being here…
Read MoreTampa Bay Area open-micers directly impacted by Will Smith, Chris Rock Academy Awards skirmish
Three of Tampa Bay’s best up-and-coming humorists gathered at a St. Pete kava bar yesterday to discuss the ramifications that the recent confrontation between comedian Chris Rock and Will Smith will ultimately have on the Tampa Bay comedy scene and the institution of stand-up comedy itself. Smith took the stage at the 2022 Oscars to…
Read MoreSt. Pete woman convinced she has direct influence on local economy
Denise Bazugas of St. Petersburg firmly believes that her spending habits have a noticeable and measurable impact on local businesses. “‘Get Woke, Go Broke’ is an economic principle I believe in and support,” she said. “If you put a rainbow-colored ‘BLM’ sticker on your front window, I will not patronize your establishment and you will…
Read MoreTop 5 Tampa Bay Swingers Clubs
Everyone knows that Tampa Bay is an adult entertainment wonderland. From the many world infamous “gentlemen’s clubs” to the self-storage facilities used for shooting low-budget pornography to whatever the hell is going on in Drew Park (home of Thee Love Shack, Fantasylands I and II, various auto repair shops and daycare centers among other random…
Read MoreTampa Bay’s first Small Batch Sperm Bank set to open in St. Pete
This spring, Tampa Bay will be home to the very first of its kind, small batch sperm bank. You have questions and so did we when we sat down with managing partner and brainchild of the operation, Peter Pulaski. He had plenty to say on the issue when TNF correspondent Miles Neff sat down to…
Read MoreSt. Pete drummer really good at letting rest of band know when songs start
Chad Hoagland, the drummer for local rock band Shrimp Daddy, has a knack for informing his bandmates when it’s time to start playing a song. Lead guitarist Scotty Goomner said, “We’ll just be standing around on stage and then Chad holds his drumsticks over his head and starts banging them together. It’s a great way…
Read MoreBoth St. Pete mayoral candidates are huge cowards
Ken Welch and Robert Blackmon are the final two candidates for the November 2nd general election that will eventually seat the next mayor of St. Petersburg, and while they may have different ideas about how best to fulfill that obligation, they both share the distinction of being huge cowards. Three weeks ago, Tampa News Force…
Read MoreSt. Pete man’s dying words express regret for getting vaccinated
Eddie Mulmswood of St. Petersburg passed away yesterday and used his last words to say that more than anything else, he wished he’d never gotten vaccinated against COVID. “You would have thought his greatest regret was getting drunk and walking into traffic on a Thursday afternoon”, said his son-in-law Jerry Oyler. “I mean, since he…
Read MoreVax-hesitant woman in St. Pete REALLY nervous after suffering no side effects
Amanda Fleary of St. Petersburg, who was hesitant to receive a vaccination against COVID, is worried more than ever about the vaccine after finally taking it but not suffering any of the side effects associated with it. “I held off on getting it for so long, because I just didn’t know if it was safe”,…
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