A feminist nepo baby is in hot water after misgendering Gaila Alborne, a popular ultra woke, right wing rock climbing instructor during a recent AI demo which took place in Hyde Heights in North West Tampa.
“I don’t give a shit, I’m a c**t and I hate rock climbers and I don’t even believe you’re a real news website.” Shouted Reedard Smith, the toxic 5th-wave feminist nepo baby, child of the legendary, wealthy, actress, Tina Portugena.
“I was watching the AI demo, where the visual artist was performing menial tasks with the artificial blockchain builders, when this rock climbing ‘thing’ walks towards me, and I said, ‘excuse me mister, you’re blocking my view of the blockchains’ and everybody gasped like a bunch of hoity-toity c*ck-smokers, and I just had already had it up to here that day with hyper masculine f*ckboys and I just couldn’t take it anymore so I said, ‘you know what? You are a mister in my book and I don’t care what you identify as, I’m this close to shoving the business end of that stool into your place where the sun don’t shine.’” Explained Smith of the incident she recalled.
Alborne on the other hand, experienced things differently.
“I was drinking my triple-chia mocha-lens-baked apple-frappe, when a very rude person assaulted me verbally and instilled trauma in me that I will be dealing with my grief counselors numerous times a day for the rest of my life. You don’t heal from this kind of thing. I always say ‘live to love and forgive those who ask for love in my arms and kisses on my cheeks’ but in this case, there will be no forgiveness. Smith needs to burn alive.” Said Alborne through her fogged up turtleshell aviator prescription glasses.
I secretly kept Alborne and Smith in side-by-side interview rooms simultaneously at the same time so I could instigate a physical fight which I was hoping was mere moments away.
I asked Alborne to go open up the door on the far side of the room, and she obliged, standing from her plastic child-size school chair which we had borrowed from the local preschool, and she went to the door and turned the knob.
Smith was waiting on the other side of the door pensively and decked Alborne in the nose, cracking her glasses in shards.
“Agh!” Screamed Alborne as she dropped to the ground.
My mission was accomplished, I had instigated a fight between these two people for no other reason than my own enjoyment.
Alborne, from the ground, kicked Smith in the shins and caused her to bleed.
“Gah!” Wailed Smith.
“That’s enough of that.” I said, sending waves of fear through both people, halting their altercation.
“I’m going to go somewhere else now and do something else.” I said calmly, folding my interview binder and putting my interview glasses back into their carrying pouch.
I think tore a page out of my own book (literally I have a book on interviewing I carry around) and I filled the piece of paper with crack rocks.
“Let’s smoke crack now instead.” I suggested.
Both (what I would assume, maybe incorrectly) women then shrugged. Alborne snuck in one more cheap shot on Smith, kneeing her in the pelvis, but then they both calmly walked over to me and we all took turns smoking my freshly rolled crack joint.
“Ah, that’s the stuff.” I sighed, taking a large inhalation of crack smoke, blowing into the other people’s faces, so no crack is wasted.
“Yea, this is definitely the stuff.” Smiled Alborne slyly.
Alborne then said, “Do you want to FaceTime my famous mom?”
I corrected her, “You’re not the one with the famous actress mother, that’s Smith.”
All three of us then laughed, because we were all clearly, heavily, under the influence of the crack.
“It’s really working, isn’t it?” I asked the others.
“Yes.” They said in unison.
“Do you guys want to smoke more?” I playfully threw out the suggestion to the group.
“Yea, totally, let’s.” Smith said through a stifled cackle.
So we smoked 4 more crack joints, all rolled using pages from my interview book.
“This stuff is cheap too, I can get more if you both want?” I said to the two, now-best-friend (assumed) ladies.
“Yea, yea, let’s get a lot more.” Excitedly suggested Alborne.
“Ok, let me call my guy real quick.” I said, pulling out my Sony Clie from 2004.
“Wow, cool phone.” Said Alborne.
“Thanks, it’s an old discontinued Sony thing.” I responded, accidentally dropping it and cracking it’s screen.
“Oh dang, I dropped my thing.” I said sadly.
“Will you guys help me buy another one of these? Then I will get us more crack.” I wondered to the (maybe) girls.
“No, I don’t think we want to do that.” Said Smith, exchanging disapproving glances with Alborne.
“Yea, we don’t like that idea.” Said Alborne.
So then they left, and I was alone in the interview room by myself, with no one to hang out with.
Then I took off the simulation goggles.
“That was a weird one.” I said to the simulation moderator.
“Yea it was.” Said the moderator.
“I need to go back to work or I’m going to get fired.” I said.
“No you’re not.” Said the moderator.
“You’re the owner of the company.”
“You’re right.” I said.
Then I put the goggles back on and I told the moderator to start a simulation where the story ends.