Posts by Josh Santos
Hetero Normative Oxygen Bar Opens in Apollo Beach
In a move that has shocked and outraged many members of the LGBTQ+ community, a new business called the “Hetero Normative Oxygen Bar” has opened its doors in the heart of Apollo Beach. The establishment, which bills itself as a “safe space for straight people,” offers a variety of oxygen-infused air mixtures, each designed to…
Read More2023 Things To Look Forward to This New Year
With the new year in full swing, here is a look at 2023 things to look forward to in the year 2023 I’m gonna be honest when I first pitched this idea to my editor he was all about it, but it took me a long time to write those first 100 ones. I tried…
Read MoreNew Store in Tampa Lets Customers Dig Through Landfill
Shoppers around Tampa Bay are flocking to this trendy open-air market, offering outrageously marked down prices on items people have thrown away. Hotpit is the latest overstock items and returns store to open in Tampa. The store features a football field size staging area where customers are encouraged to rip open trash bags to find…
Read MoreTampa Pastor Accused of Preaching in Drag for Sunday School
To protest the Stop Woke Act aka the “Don’t Say Gay” bill signed by Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, a local Tampa pastor has decided to deliver his sermons under his new drag queen persona. “We’re a pretty unorthodox church,” said Pastor Peaches Wylde, “I was giving all my sermons in drag even before the whole…
Read MoreRon DeSantis Gives Final Campaign Speech in Black Face
In a surprisingly unnecessary move, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis gave his final campaign speech before the midterm elections in black face. “We don’t let the woke liberal mob tell us what we can and can’t do with our bodies here in Florida,” said DeSantis to an electrified audience at the Jewish Community Center of Tampa…
Read MoreFlorida Election Police Arrest 10-year-old That Voted Illegally
Governor Ron DeSantis proudly announced today the capture of one of their most sought after 2020 election fraud suspects. Florida’s Election Police SWAT unit announced that they executed a search warrant in The Villages, Florida retirement community where they discovered a 10-year-old boy home alone. Florida Election Police took the boy into custody after bypassing…
Read MoreMarco Rubio Recognized as Best New Career Politician
With his third term reelection looking more likely, Florida Senator Marco Rubio has officially been recognized as Tampa News Force’s best new ‘Career Politician’. The First Annual Tampa News Force Community Awards Gala recognized some of the best politicians in Florida and all the great things they do for Tampa. The event occurred at the…
Read MoreNew Concept Restaurant Seeks to Train Child Soldiers
A new concept restaurant with a shooting range hopes to engage the next generation of second amendment rights activist. “We want to be the Chuck E Cheese of guns,” said Barbie Bellie, founder of Pistol Planet. “In our restaurant we want children to hold a gun in one hand and a slice of pizza in…
Read MoreHART Introduces New Park and Ride Bus Stops
Tampa’s public transit system is getting a facelift thanks to a set of new park and ride stations. “We want to make it easier for Tampanians to ride the bus,” said Reily Huarto, HART’s Customer Relations Ambassador. “These stations will let customers crash their car right into the bus stop shelter and hop on the…
Read MoreSchool resource officer shoots kid reading gay book
A second grader is in critical condition today after being shot by his school resource officer while reading Lesléa Newman’s 1989 classic picture book ‘Heather Has Two Mommies’. “I was patrolling the library and saw the gay book,” said officer Frank Johnnie. “At first I was just trying to shoot the book, but the kid…
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