Posts by Josh Santos
Rick Scott Prays for Hurricane to Drown all the Poor People
Florida Senator Rick Scott spent much of the past few days praying for the upcoming Hurricane Dorian to gather enough strength and drown every poor person in its path. “As governor of Florida, I made sure every poor person worked even harder than they had to if they wanted the dollars,” said Senator Scott, still…
Read MoreTampa News Force Demands Recount if they lose Best of the Bay
Tampa News Force fans gathered outside of the Creative Loafing offices to demand a preemptive recount in the event that they don’t win anything. “We went through the list on ‘tampanewsforce.com/vote‘ and had some issues with it,” said one TNF fan who wanted to remain anonymous. “First thing, the login is really sketchy. Very bad…
Read MoreQueen plus Adam Lambert to play Secret Show at King State
King State Cafe – Hillsborough County – Friday 8.17.19 As part of a cross promotion for the Amalie Arena concert, Queen plus Adam Lambert have announced a special free show taking place at Tampa Heights newest cafe. “This tour all I’ve been doing is singing songs from that ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ movie,” said Adam Lambert while…
Read MoreHow to Move to Tampa Bay
Economist estimate that over 900 people are moving to Florida every day, and to those who decide to settle in the Tampa Bay, we would like to say Hello! For those thinking about moving here, check out or tips on how to make Tampa, Florida your new home. #5 Finding a Job Congratulations on deciding…
Read MoreBest Benches in Tampa
Benches are one of the most common seating options in Tampa Bay and today we are counting down the Best ones you can plant your butt on #5 Ybor City Benches These things are perfect for sprawling face down on when you’re drunk and need to throw up as the slats allow vomit to flow…
Read MoreTop Walmarts in Tampa Bay
There are many Walmarts in the Tampa Bay area, and you’re probably fine with going to the one closest to you. But Tampa News Force believes there is always a number one and today we are counting down the best Walmarts around 5 – Dale Mabry and I-275 This Walmart has its own entrance immediately…
Read MoreSarah Palin buys home in Hernando County
Palin Compound – Hernando County – Monday, 8.5.19 Spring Hill is about to be invaded by a wild pack of Alaskans. Former vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin has secretly purchased a home in Hernando County and plans to move in today. “It’s getting so darn cold up North now, and after our home got damaged in…
Read MoreCop Curfew in Effect for Tampa Bay
Four Green Fields – Hillsborough County – Saturday, 8.3.19 In an effort to allow cops to sleep in more, Hillsborough County will begin enforcing a cop curfew effective from 9 PM to 5 AM. “This program has been long overdue,” said Tampa Police Chief Gunny Downyu at a recent press conference. “We hope this curfew…
Read MoreTampa boy falls in love with hologram of Mike Pence
Museum of Science & Industry – Hillsborough County – Saturday, 8.3.19 A local Tampa boy has fallen head-over-heels in love with a hologram of Mike Pence during a recent field trip to Tampa’s Museum of Science and Industry (MOSI). Stanie Wallace, 8, ran away from his field trip group to hang out in the Hall…
Read MoreTampa man electrocuted while building time machine to visit “Epic Universe”
Steve’s House – Hillsborough County – Thursday, 8.1.19 A Tampa man is in critical condition after attempting to teleport himself into the future to visit the new Universal Orlando Resort. Lyan Myrassuf, a 19-year-old USF engineering student, got very excited when he heard the announcement that Universal was opening a new theme park. Myrassuf was…
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