Posts by Josh Santos
Busch Gardens to allow CBD, Bongs and other Drug Paraphernalia
Busch Gardens – Hillsborough County – Thursday, 5.9.2019 To capitalize on the old woman being arrested at Disney for carrying CBD oil for her arthritis, Busch Gardens has announced it will allow all forms of CBD in the park. Along with the new rules, guests will be permitted to bring any ‘bongs’ or ‘drug paraphernalia’…
Read MoreTop 5 Things in Tampa That Need to be Gentrified
Nearly a decade ago, Tampa wasn’t nearly as gentrified as it is today. If Tampa wants to continue its trajectory towards becoming the ‘Next Greatest City in America’, it needs to fix these locations that Tampa News Force has recognized as places that still require a little more gentrification to make it comfortable for rich…
Read MoreRick Scott Asks Trump to Make Him Leader of Venezuela
Golden Corral – Bay County – Thursday, 5.9.2019 Citing the notes he prepared for his meeting, Florida Senator Rick Scott asked the president to forcibly remove the leader of Venezuela and install the freshman senator as leader of the country. “I speak Spanish, I was governor of Florida and with my help, Venezuela could become…
Read MoreRick Scott wins award for ‘Best Dick Pic’
Woodland Reserve – Hillsborough County – Tuesday, 5.7.2019 Florida Senator Rick Scott accepted the award for ‘Best Dick Pic’ today at the 68th annual Florida Boat Club Magazine Awards. “I don’t believe I have ever even taken a ‘Dick Pic’,” Scott said while reluctantly accepting the award. “I do however love being here in Florida,…
Read MoreSpectrum “Fiber” Network Discovered To Be a Potato In a Kid’s Room
Spectrum Headquarters – Hillsborough County – Sunday 5.5.2019 After numerous complaints, federal investigators discovered that Spectrum’s self-described ‘Fiber-Rich’ internet network has actually been a series of wires connected to a potato in the room of a Carrollwood 6th grader. “I’m pretty sure I could create a more reliable internet service with a free Saturday, $7,…
Read MoreHillsborough County Schools to Enforce Mandatory STD Testing
HCPS Administrative Building – Hillsborough County – Tuesday, 4.30.2019 As part of a new initiative to combat STDs in schools, students in Hillsborough County will now be forced to prove that they are free of STDs before they can start their upcoming semester. “Even if they have minor STDs, we’ll still let them learn online…
Read MoreTampa Company Looking for Contractor to Build $100 Million Sweatshop
Gibsonton Tiny Hands Crafted Goods – Hillsborough County – Monday 4.29.2019 One of Tampa’s most profitable manufacturers is looking to grow out of their current location in a big way. “This is going to be the biggest sweatshop Florida has ever seen,” says Michael Longpill, owner and operator of the Gibsonton Tiny Hands Crafted Goods.…
Read MoreSunset Music Festival prepares for possible herpes outbreak
Sunset Music Fest – Hillsborough County – Sunday, 4.28.2019 Following a massive herpes outbreak at Coachella, Sunset Music Festival organizers are preparing for what could be the largest herpes outbreak Florida has ever seen. “This show sells out every year,” said SMF organizer Shannette Rodriguez, “As much as we don’t want what happened in California…
Read MoreFlorida Charter High Schools Ready for Freshman Class Draft
Gifted Science Magic Charter School – Hillsborough County – Saturday 4.27.2019 Florida is set to become the first State to allow charter schools a chance to pick the students they want from graduating public school 8th graders. “We’ve realized that making every school in Florida an A+ school, takes a lot of work,” said Florida…
Read MoreClimate Change “Rebels” Planted Hundreds of Trees, Picked Up Trash Along Hillsborough River
Orient Road Jail Road Steakhouse – Hillsborough County – Wednesday, 4.24.2019 The Tampa Police Department is currently seeking information on a wild pack of self-proclaimed climate change “Rebels” who are being accused of trespassing to clean up government property and planting hundreds of trees. “We have them on tape coming in here late at night…
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