Posts by Josh Santos
State-of-the-art Clown College breaks ground on Water Street
Water Street – Hillsborough County – Thursday 3.14.2019 As construction continues on Jeff Vinik’s vision for Downtown Tampa, one of the most anticipated additions to Tampa’s skyline breaks ground. “Unlike the other schools in this county, our students are actually going to be learning something useful,” says Clown College Dean of Admissions, Greg “Whompers The…
Read MoreTampa to incentivize positive social media from teens
Tampa Bay High School – Hillsborough County – Tuesday 3.12.2019 In an effort to get more Tampaños excited about local government and city planning, Tampa’s newest program hopes to improve Tampa’s online reputation, one paid positive post at a time. From now until September, people who tag the Tampa government social media on their positive…
Read MoreTampa cuban restaurant first in country to serve up CBD deviled crabs, empanadas
West Tampa – Hillsborough County – Friday 3.8.2019 A local neighborhood cuban restaurant that has remained family-owned for many generations, is causing a buzz in the community with their new CBD-infusion technique that adds a little chill to their hot and home cooked-style meals. “We got to stay ahead of the curb in this…
Read MoreMorbidly obese monkey captured near Hillsborough River
Tampa Boat Authority – Hillsborough County – Tuesday 3.5.2019 Animal control experts have announced the recent capture of an 80-pound macaque monkey that has evaded expert trappers in the Seminole Heights neighborhood since 2014. “The monkey wasn’t that big when we lost him,” says Tampa Zoo monkey handler Deliais McSkeets about “Eddie” the missing monkey.…
Read MoreApollo Beach completes construction on massive Greek God Apollo statue
Apollo Beach – Hillsborough County – Friday 3.1.2019 After years of planning and construction, the unincorporated census-designated community of Apollo Beach has completed construction on the world’s largest statue of the Greek God Apollo. “I wanted to make something this community deserves,” says statue designer Mario DelElefante. “The name Apollo, and this beach, it all…
Read MoreTampa Zoo to replace all animals with painted strippers
Lowry Park Area – Hillsborough County – Friday, 2.23.2019 In an effort to bring in more millennials, the Tampa Zoo has decided to replace all of its animals with painted strippers. “We’ve tried every single thing we could, but for some reason the only people who want to come here are kids and their parents,”…
Read MoreTampa News Force temporarily becomes weird erotica story site
TNF Headquarters – Hillsborough County – Wednesday 2.20.2019 After a particularly ineffective round table discussion on the direction of news coverage for the Tampa News Force (TNF) website, editors accidentally agreed to publish a series of weird erotica stories that may or may not contain actual news. “It was a momentary lapse in reasoning,” says…
Read MoreTampa to limit sale of Ford F-150s to stop number of assholes on the road
Tampa Ford – Hillsborough County – Monday 2.18.2019 In an effort to minimize the number of assholes on the road, Hillsborough County has set a cap to number of Ford F150s being sold. “We hope this initiative will help alleviate road congestion, and make it a little easier to merge on the highway,” says Tampa…
Read MoreTampa becomes first openly gay city
Gaybor District – Tampa, FL – Thursday, 2.14.2019 While many cities around the country refuse to come out of the closet, Tampa announced this week that they have known about being gay for many years now and will finally be happy accepting it and living a life with no regrets. “I’m tired of living my…
Read MoreProposed Tampa streetcar expansion to bring more grind rails, skitch grips, scooter ropes
Co-CityWorks – Tampa Heights – Tuesday 2.12.2019 The Florida Department of Transportation (FDOT) unveiled its latest plans for the proposed expansion to the Tampa Streetcar today to a standing-room only crowd at a local co-work space. FDOT officials announced that the current 2.7 mile streetcar track, which zips passengers between Ybor City, Channelside and Downtown…
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