Posts by Josh Santos
Greatest Places in Tampa
TIME magazine has declared Tampa as one of the World’s Greatest Places, so today we are counting down what makes Tampa so great. 5. I-275 This highway connects Tampa to all of the greatest places. Every exit on I-275 is an adventure into a magical world in one of the greatest places on Earth. 4.…
Read MoreTampa Surgeon Regrets These Five Surgeries
Dr. Rey Atrocito is Tampa’s most highly regarded plastic surgeon. In a career that has spanned four decades, Dr. Atrocito has performed countless augmentations, lifts, and injections to some of the richest and most powerful people in the World who travel for his work. We sat down with Dr. Atrocito to count down his five…
Read MoreMayor Castor Vows to Accomplish Nothing for Four More Years
Tampa’s Mayor celebrated her upcoming victory in the 2023 municipal elections during a dinner this weekend where she touted her lack of accomplishments to a crowd of supporters. “For the last four years, Tampa has become more expensive, crowded and impossible to get around,” said Mayor Castor to the three people in attendance. “I just…
Read MoreTampa News Force 2023 Guide to Tampa’s Municipal Election
Tuesday, March 7, 2023 is Tampa’s Municipal Election. This election will secure jobs for City Council members and the Mayor, as well as provide residents a chance to vote on amendments to Tampa’s Charter which means something, I guess. Only 20% of eligible voters participated in the previous 2019 municipal election, so if you don’t…
Read MoreDeSantis Announces Teen Menstrual Blood Collection Program
In an effort to ban trans youth from playing school sports, teen girls will now be forced to personally supply Florida Governor Ron DeSantis with a vial of menstrual blood every month. “It’s the only way to make sure that no chicks with dicks are taking advantage of the sacred pastime that is school sports,”…
Read MoreMayor Castor Video Game Announced for Playstation 5
As part of a new inclusive gaming agenda by Activision, the gaming studio behind the popular Call of Duty franchise has announced a new video game based on the life of Tampa Mayor Jane Castor. “I have been shot at,” said Mayor Castor who previously served as the chief of police for the City of…
Read MoreTampa Mega Church Converts to Scientology
The pastor of Tampa’s largest mega-church has shocked the community by announcing that the church will be converting to Scientology. Pastor Paul White, a fifth-generation Tampa pastor, made the announcement during a sermon last Sunday. “We have been praying and seeking guidance, and we have come to the conclusion that Scientology is the one true…
Read MoreSweet Sixteen Ruined by IPA Release
As 16-year-old Molly Johnson eagerly anticipated her Sweet Sixteen party, she never could have predicted that it would fall on the day that a nearby Tampa Heights brewery would release the highly anticipated Hopfucker Quintuple IPA. “I can’t believe this fucking shit is happening,” Molly said, tears streaming down her face. “My fucking Sweet Sixteen…
Read MoreMayor Castor Look-A-Like Contest Winner Wins Chief of Police Job
After the resignation of the most recent Chief of Police for the Tampa Police Department, Mayor Jane Castor has announced that the winner of a recent Look-a-like contest will be awarded the title of Chief of Police for the TPD. “I’m just a good boy,” said Lenna Delanada and a playful baby voice. Delanada is…
Read MoreSecret Code Words That Force Tampa Cops to Release You
5. Is your camera on? Cops hate it when you ask the first question, so before they can say anything to you, ask if their camera is on and recording. When they hear this simple question, they will know that you are a citizen who knows their rights and they will let you go immediately. …
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