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Charlie Crist changes name to connect with evangelical Christians

Charlie Christ

In an effort to appeal to conservative voters in the upcoming election for Florida governor, Democratic Party nominee Charlie Crist has changed his name to Chuckie Christ. “It occurred to me that some people might not realize that I’m a direct descendant of The Original Guy,” he said. “He’s actually my uncle, from Nazareth, which…

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Minecraft cosplayer mistaken for Matt Gaetz

Gaetzcraft

Jeff Coldblum of Bradenton was in Tampa to attend Tampa Bay Comic Con held at the Tampa Convention Center this past weekend where he was greeted with hostility due to people mistaking him for U.S. representative and probable human trafficker Matt Gaetz. “They were so mean,” said Coldblum. “All these people getting in my face…

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Trump directs armpit farts at critics

ArmPitFarts

On a surprise visit to Tampa this morning for the sake of qualifying this article as “local” or maybe to get some Waffle House hash browns, an obviously annoyed President Donald Trump delivered a message to people criticizing him for calling for an end to counting votes. “You know what? All of a sudden you’re…

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Dunedin man wants this election crap over already

George Bascoat of Dunedin is sick and tired of hearing about the 2020 election and wants it finished. “What’s with this crap?”, he asked rhetorically. “The polls closed at 8 and it’s almost midnight and we still don’t know who won. Come on. This is a bunch of crap.” I told him that counting ballots…

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Biden and Trump reach historic agreement

In a historically unprecedented move, as well as an uncharacteristic display of cooperation in this highly contentious election campaign, the two presidential candidates, Republican incumbent Donald Trump and Democrat challenger Joe Biden, have worked out a mutually beneficial deal mere hours before the polls close nationwide. At an accidental breakfast meeting at the Waffle House…

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