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Desperate Florida schools turn to student teachers


Florida schools are facing a major staffing crisis, with over a thousand unfilled positions in Hillsborough County alone, where the school year began yesterday. As a result, they are turning to the school’s students themselves as a last resort. “We tried to recruit unqualified military veterans. That didn’t work. We’ve tried everything, every possible option,”…

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First Lady coming to Florida!


A while back last year, First Lady Jill Biden (FLOTUS for short) and Dr. Anthony Fauci visited Tampa and we submitted a request for press credentials to see them. After what was obviously a thorough vetting by the Secret Service, the request was granted! Since then, FLOTUS’s office keeps in touch, specifically Asjia Garner: Communications…

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Florida Republicans Vow to Violently Defund Education

Defunding education

After announcing sanctions against school districts that impose mask mandates, Florida Republicans have announced a plan to fully defund public education. “These school districts are trying to protect children from something that isn’t even real,” said Florida Governor Ron DeSantis during a joint meeting with Florida Education Commissioner Richard Corcoran.  “It’s time that we de-militarized…

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Thousands prepare to flock to state they say they can’t stand

As traditional social activities begin resuming under somewhat “normal”, pre-COVID conditions, many people who claim to hate the state of Florida are making plans to visit the state of Florida. “Man, everything about that place is straight-up trash, with meth and STD’s everywhere”, said Chad Wheeley, a sophomore at Syracuse University. “And I can not…

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A letter of apology to Rick Scott

rick Scott with young boy

Hi Rick Scott, my name is Chingy and I work for Tampa News Force.  In the past we have covered some of your major accomplishments, such as the time you won the award for Best Dick Pic, and that time you kicked a baby in the nuts, also that time that you were found eating…

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Florida Police Announce ‘Guns for Mask’ Program

Florida Police Announce Guns For Masks Program

In an effort to supply more citizens in Florida with the N95 mask, the Brandon, Florida, police department has set-up a ‘Guns for Mask’ exchange to encourage gun owners to turn in their guns for a 10-pack of masks. “The hell I’m giving up my guns for something my wife can crochet together,” said fellow…

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