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Rays decide to wrap up ‘23 season

Following a 4-0 win over the Detroit Tigers to open the 2023 Major League Baseball season, the Tampa Bay Rays have decided that they’re done for the year. “We had great pitching and defense, obviously. I mean, we shut them out,” said Rays manager Kevin Cash. “Plus, timely hitting with power. You really can’t ask…

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Kevin Cash named Manager of the Year

Kevin Cash MOY

Tampa Bay Rays manager Kevin Cash has been named Manager of the Year for Subway’s Tampa Bay Region, Tampa Division, Hillsborough Avenue Between Florida Avenue and Sheldon Road, Not Located Within a Radiant Gas Station District. “This is a very prestigious award”, said Cash. “I feel really honored. At first, I wasn’t too psyched about…

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Red Tide Raises Rays

Tiding Up

Following the Rays clinching the American League East Division for the second consecutive season while compiling the best regular season record in the franchise’s 23-year history, with 100 wins for the first time, many are wondering how such a thing could possibly happen, considering that the team was thought to be significantly weaker after losing…

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Man Wearing Rays Hat Surprised to Learn They Are Doing Well

Rays hat

While out getting drunk for his best friend’s birthday, a Tampa man was recently surprised to learn that the Tampa Bay Rays are doing well this season. “Honestly I don’t even know how I ended up owning this hat,” said Fabio Sukiyo, a 32-year-old man from Seffner.  “I haven’t watched baseball in over 10 years,…

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Rays outfielder offends certain Rays fans

Brett Phillips

Tampa Bay Rays outfielder Brett Phillips on and off-field antics have rankled a segment of loyal fans. “He’s obviously enjoying himself, just having the time of his life. And it’s all the time,” said longtime fan Hub Shitler of St. Petersburg. “That’s downright disrespectful to those of us who have made a tradition of being…

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Packers coach explains decision to go for field goal

In a press conference Monday afternoon, Green Bay Packers head coach Matt LaFleur explained his reasoning for kicking a field goal instead of going for a touchdown late in his team’s 31-26 loss to the Buccaneers and costing Green Bay a shot at playing in Super Bowl LV in Tampa. “Oops, I guess”, he said,…

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Bucs coming and going to the Super Bowl

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers beat the Green Bay Packers 31-26 tonight to win the National Football Conference Championship and advance to Super Bowl LV which will be played at Raymond James Stadium in Tampa on February 7. It’ll be the second time going to the Super Bowl in franchise history, following their 48-21 win at…

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Kevin Cash tries to remove Brady from Bucs game

Kevin Cash runs on the field

During the second quarter of todays game between the Atlanta Falcons and Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Tampa Bay Rays manager Kevin Cash jumped from the stands and ran out on the field in an effort to pull quarterback Tom Brady out of the game. “That’s enough! Get him outta there!”, he was heard yelling. “Gabbert, warm…

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