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New restaurant for singles opening soon in Brandon


A new chain of restaurants is opening their first location in Brandon, Florida, because that’s where every chain of restaurants opens new locations for some reason. Lonely’s is a new concept eatery, catering exclusively to people who are alone, whether by choice or not. It will serve a menu with a wide variety of top-quality…

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Manatee Carcass Buffet Opening in Clearwater Beach

Manatee Buffet

In an attempt to capitalize on the influx of starvation-related manatee deaths, the host of “The Daily Show with Trevor Noah” has decided to invest in a Clearwater Beach restaurant that specializes in cooking manatee meat. “We take every manatee death very seriously here at Trevor Noah’s Manatee Carcass Buffet,” said head chef Bobby Suflex.…

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Boycott planned for restaurant nobody planned to patronize anyway

A group of three concerned St. Petersburg residents, led by Gretchyn Flitchet, a self-unemployable kombucha enthusiast, is planning to boycott Ron’s Raw Dogs, a restaurant specializing in uncooked sausage products in Port Richey. The owner of the restaurant, Ron Blubgart, recently posted an angry tirade on the Ron’s Raw Dogs Facebook page, calling out several…

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