Posts Tagged ‘School Shooting’
112-year-old woman credits upbringing with longevity
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Read MoreBlack Drag Queen commits school shooting
This just in: apparently a transgender person who identifies as a “Drag Queen” of African American descent has shot up a public school, using some sort of gun device. No word yet on which school or what casualties there might be or if the person of interest has been apprehended. We will post updates on…
Read MoreSt. Pete man can’t believe it’s been 10 years since thing that he believes never happened, happened
Clelbert Whiggins of St. Petersburg can’t believe an entire decade has passed since an incident he refuses to acknowledge ever took place, totally took place. “Wow, 10 whole years! Really? It seems like only yesterday that crisis actors, the Jews who own the media and the government all conspired to attempt a huge hoax designed…
Read MoreSchool resource officer shoots kid reading gay book
A second grader is in critical condition today after being shot by his school resource officer while reading LeslĂ©a Newmanâs 1989 classic picture book âHeather Has Two Mommiesâ. âI was patrolling the library and saw the gay book,â said officer Frank Johnnie. âAt first I was just trying to shoot the book, but the kid…
Read MoreFamily pet foils school shooting
Plans for a public school mass shooting were thwarted by a plucky pooch in Palma Ceia! A young man whose name is being withheld by authorities due to him being a minor who never actually carried out a crime but is named Calvin Mooshtock was in the middle of broadcasting a threatening message about what…
Read MoreManufacturer recalls faulty emergency call boxes
Emergico Systems Inc., a Tampa-based company that manufactures emergency response equipment has announced that they are recalling their new line of TeleTek6000Âź emergency call boxes following a recent failed beta-testing trial of the units at a school in a small town somewhere in Texas. “The way they were supposed to work is, in the event…
Read MoreNew legislation makes it illegal to talk about gay stuff during school shootings
A new law handed down from the Florida State legislature makes it illegal to discuss anything ‘gay’ during a school shooting. “Those last few precious moments in a child’s life before they’re gunned down in a classroom should be spent apologizing to God or begging for mercy or regretting that your teacher isn’t armed, not…
Read MoreTed Cruz to host poker night at Seminole Hard Rock Casino
U.S. Senator Ted Cruz announced yesterday that he will be hosting a high-stakes poker night at the Seminole Hard Rock Casino in Tampa next month. “That’s right, it’s Ted’s Ridiculous Fun Poker Extravaganza and it is coming to Florida on July 4th!” he said. “What could be a more perfectly appropriate way to celebrate the…
Read MoreBabies will be given guns at birth
In an effort to end mass shootings, all babies born from now on will be given guns immediately at birth in an attempt to breed an evolution of humans with guns built directly into their bodies. âBy familiarizing newborns with guns, weâre hoping to ultimately have a race of humans born with guns already in…
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