Posts Tagged ‘school’
Student prank calls teacher a hundred million times
8-year-old Todd Testerton earned the admiration of classmates at Roosevelt Elementary School in Tampa by deftly executing a brilliant prank on teacher Helen Kwirth. “I found her home phone number and I called her at least a hundred million times,” said Testerton. “I just kept calling and when she answered I hung up. Over and…
Read MorePasco County Elementary School On Lockdown After CRT Education Threat
This morning, police responded to an anonymous call that a teacher may have been involved in teaching children about critical race theory. The situation resulted in an hours-long lockdown and parents being notified of the potential risk to their children. As police setup a perimeter, parents looked on in terror at the possibility that their…
Read MoreThis week’s public school lunch menus
As a public service to the millions of parents to school-age children in the Tampa Bay region who read our site every single day, Tampa News Force proudly presents what the kids will be eating for lunch at school this week. You know, for planning purposes. Enjoy! CITRUS COUNTY Monday, October 3: Tater Thots Tuesday,…
Read MoreSchool resource officer shoots kid reading gay book
A second grader is in critical condition today after being shot by his school resource officer while reading Lesléa Newman’s 1989 classic picture book ‘Heather Has Two Mommies’. “I was patrolling the library and saw the gay book,” said officer Frank Johnnie. “At first I was just trying to shoot the book, but the kid…
Read MoreDesperate Florida schools turn to student teachers
Florida schools are facing a major staffing crisis, with over a thousand unfilled positions in Hillsborough County alone, where the school year began yesterday. As a result, they are turning to the school’s students themselves as a last resort. “We tried to recruit unqualified military veterans. That didn’t work. We’ve tried everything, every possible option,”…
Read MoreFamily pet foils school shooting
Plans for a public school mass shooting were thwarted by a plucky pooch in Palma Ceia! A young man whose name is being withheld by authorities due to him being a minor who never actually carried out a crime but is named Calvin Mooshtock was in the middle of broadcasting a threatening message about what…
Read MoreManufacturer recalls faulty emergency call boxes
Emergico Systems Inc., a Tampa-based company that manufactures emergency response equipment has announced that they are recalling their new line of TeleTek6000® emergency call boxes following a recent failed beta-testing trial of the units at a school in a small town somewhere in Texas. “The way they were supposed to work is, in the event…
Read MoreNew legislation makes it illegal to talk about gay stuff during school shootings
A new law handed down from the Florida State legislature makes it illegal to discuss anything ‘gay’ during a school shooting. “Those last few precious moments in a child’s life before they’re gunned down in a classroom should be spent apologizing to God or begging for mercy or regretting that your teacher isn’t armed, not…
Read MoreTampa News Force to launch journalism program at Bishop Sycamore High School
Venerable media outlet and bastion of journalistic integrity Tampa News Force (TNF) has announced the sponsorship of a new journalism program at prestigious Bishop Sycamore High School in Columbus, Ohio. Ricky ‘Rick’ Kwotemark, TNF Director of Educational Outreach said, “It is truly an honor and a privilege to partner with a legitimate academic institution and…
Read MoreDr Seuss Book Saves Child from Stabbing
A Tampa elementary school third grader is safe today after his six copies of recently banned Dr. Seuss books stopped an accidental stabbing from a megachurch pastor during a sermon. “I was trying to prove a point about cancel culture,” said Dennis McWelkins, pastor of Calvary Lake of Second Baptist Creek Community Church. McWelkins is…
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