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City of St. Pete introduces mobile vaccine distribution unit

Vaccine Truck

As the country prepares for the distribution of a COVID-19 vaccine, St. Petersburg Mayor Rick Kriseman, has come up with a creative way to get the treatment out locally. “Some people are vehemently opposed to getting the vaccine and that’s an issue. But nobody is opposed to food trucks”, he said. “People love those stupid…

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President Trump Accidentally Trips on Mushrooms in St. Petersburg

Trump hugs tree

President Trump took a brief lunch break at a pop up gluten free and raw vegan biscuit stand last week, after holding an embarrassing rally in St. Petersburg, Florida. The owner of the stand is Pimento Teaspoon, a Portland transplant, who moved to Florida to find himself after tripping on acid this one time. President…

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Tampa Man Discovers Long Lost Tropicana Field

The Lost Trop

Fountain of Youth, Atlantis, Tropicana Field; Mythological destinations that have long been sought after by generations of explorers. Now, thanks to one such explorer, we rewrite the history books. Over the weekend the Legend of Tropicana Field has gone from gorilla in the mist to a pin on Waze, all thanks to Clive Raines. It…

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Mayor Kriseman asks protesters to utilize ‘call ahead’ seating

Protesters

As protests continue in St. Petersburg, with more expected this weekend, Mayor Rick Kriseman is taking steps to lower tensions and minimize unpleasant confrontations between diners, protesters and counter-protesters. “It’s perfectly understandable that people are outraged by the ongoing systemic racism in our society, as most recently evidenced by the outcome of the trial of…

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St. Pete welcome sign moved to Pass-a-Grille Beach

St. Pete welcome sign

The 75-foot tall welcome tower that has stood at the west end of the Howard Frankland Bridge on southbound I-275 has been relocated to Pass-A-Grille Beach. The sign, donated at a cost of $600,000 by local businessman Bill Edwards in 2012, had to be removed to accommodate an extensive project by the Florida Department of…

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St Pete Woman Reads Shampoo Labels on the Toilet

Reading a shampoo bottle

Rebecca Velvet, a 27 year old resident of Old Northeast, explains that she’s recently ditched her cell phone in favor of old school toilet entertainment. “Get this,” she says. “Take a caca. Grab a shampoo bottle. Read the label. BOOM – the 90’s!” Velvet says this new bathroom routine has heaps of unexpected benefits. One…

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TNF celebrates posting of 1000th article: this one

1000 Posts

Watergate. The Challenger Disaster. 9/11.Tampa News Force wasn’t there to cover any of those stories. Mostly because all those things happened a long time ago and also none of them happened in the Tampa Bay Area anyway, so they probably didn’t really affect anyone who lives here too much. We don’t know; like we said,…

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Bars, good and terrible, prepare to re-open tomorrow

The Local

The state of Florida ban on bars opening ends Monday morning at 12:01AM, finally allowing local watering holes to resume operating and hopefully generate revenue and bring some service industry employees back to work. During the ban that was put in place back in March as a result of quarantine measures related to the COVID-19…

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St. Pete men change minds on controversial issue after argument

Dan Widworth of St. Petersburg has changed his opinion on an extremely divisive social issue following an intense argument with Rob Birdley, a man he met at a local restaurant Friday afternoon. “I was minding my business, eating a cheeseburger at El Cap when I heard this guy running his big, dumb mouth,” says Widworth.…

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Robbery suspect in custody after shout-out with police

An attempted armed robbery at the Shop N’ Suk convenience store in St. Petersburg became very loud and annoying when police engaged the suspect, Russell Zilsky of Pass-A-Grille Beach, in a prolonged shout-out that saw passers-by and onlookers seeking cover from stray epithets. SPPD spokesperson Abigail Flute says, “Like other law enforcement agencies, we have…

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